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Next step?
| Tue, 02-06-2007 - 6:57pm |
Hi,
I have gone out on several dates in the past few months with no good prospects, but I met someone through a work function on Friday. He spent the night, but we did not have sex. We spent four hours talking the next morning. I know that this was not the best move on my part, but I wasn't really thinking about the future. He called me two days later, and we had a good conversation. We talked about snowboarding, since I had just gotten back that day from a day trip to the mountains. As we were getting off the phone, he said that we should go snowboarding sometime. He is going away this weekend with his brother and some guys, but I was hoping to see him again. I have read so much about "He's not that into you" and all that, so I don't know what is right anymore. A couple years ago, I would have just called him up. Now it's like, if you call him you will seem needy, blah blah blah. I just need someone to help straighten me out, and tell me that I'm not being needy if I call him once to see if he wants to hang out before he goes away :-)
I have gone out on several dates in the past few months with no good prospects, but I met someone through a work function on Friday. He spent the night, but we did not have sex. We spent four hours talking the next morning. I know that this was not the best move on my part, but I wasn't really thinking about the future. He called me two days later, and we had a good conversation. We talked about snowboarding, since I had just gotten back that day from a day trip to the mountains. As we were getting off the phone, he said that we should go snowboarding sometime. He is going away this weekend with his brother and some guys, but I was hoping to see him again. I have read so much about "He's not that into you" and all that, so I don't know what is right anymore. A couple years ago, I would have just called him up. Now it's like, if you call him you will seem needy, blah blah blah. I just need someone to help straighten me out, and tell me that I'm not being needy if I call him once to see if he wants to hang out before he goes away :-)

Hi Kris,
I'll cut to the chase: let him call you.
It hasn't been that long since since he called. He's expressed interest in getting together. He presumably already had plans to go away this weekend. I would definitely wait for him to get back and see if he calls. I think you will appear too anxious if you call him trying to see him before he goes out of town.
I used to be more "liberated" about calling men, but I really believe it's better if they do the calling, at least initially. It sets a bad precedent if you are the initiator. I truly believe men want to work a little for you...not a ridiculous amount, not in a game playing way. And you're worth it, right? ;)