If he likes me, then why is he so shy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
If he likes me, then why is he so shy?
3
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 3:25am

I know he likes me. 1: his looks: our eyes get locked every time we see each other. his eyes tell me he is interested in me. I have seen him looking at me in office parties whenever we exchange glances! 2. He glances almost everytime he passes by my cube at work. Sometimes I also happen to look up (unknowingly that he is there) and there he is walking but also eyeing at me! 3. One day when we were at lunch, (first time) during office project discussion, he himself started telling me about his interests, that he is an introvert, that he listens more than doing talking. he asked all about me, my interests etc. we spoke for an hour or so. This was during a office lunch but we have not gone out ever since. we hardly work together even though we are in same building. But he always kept asking me questions like my parents must be pressuring me to marry and that I might have a line of guys queued up! I just laughed it off! 4. He had shouted "I Love you" in the office party during white elephant game! this is what happened: when my chance appraoched to steal a gift, he was waving his hand with his gift (he did this for every one) and asking me to steal it but at the same time he also shouted 'I love you' when I started walking back to the table where new gifts were laid, but it looked as though he told those 3 words so that I take compassion towards him and I actually pick his gift! I was confused. he later even came to my cube and looked at my gift.

So the 4th point I have mentioned happened first and it was later when we went to lunch he told me he is an introvert. He has not asked me out for a coffee after this lunch even though we see each other almost every day. I mean he has not initiated the talks. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED: I WAS THE ONE WHO APPROACHED HIM AND ASKED HIM OUT FOR LUNCH. I HAD TO FIND OUT SOME INTERNAL INFORMATION IN MY OFFICE AND HE WAS THE BEST PERSON TO ASK. HE KIND OF TOLD ME THAT DAY WHEN WE HAD LUNCH THAT I HAD APROACHED HIM "ONLY" TO TALK ABOUT THAT OFFICE STUFF, OTHERWISE WHY WOULD I COME TALK TO HIM?

But this is not totally true. I like him too and I had approached him to make a conversation with him but I also had an excellent reason to meet him to ask about that internal office stuff. But that day, I did not answer him back when he asked me whether I had approached him to ONLY talk about office stuff. I quite did not know how to put it so quickly when he asked me.

So does he expect me to understand his clue from the game when he later told me he is shy? I am asking because I think I see the desire in his eyes to speak to me everytime he sees me. Remember we hardly get a chance to talk since we are not working in the same project. I just know him as a coworker and somehow his actions tell me he likes me, but his problem might be he is shy. So what should I do and how do I figure out whether he is into me or not? I dont want to sit and scratch my head because I keep dreaming he likes me! But I like him actually. I am afraid to push this matter from my end. we see each other daily. How do I make him come out of the truth? please help! help me talk to him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 8:46am

When a man tells you he is "shy" and an "introvert", that is code for "I am not going to go out of my way to ask you out to dinner."

He either wants you to chase him or he isn't all that interested. He might like flirting with you, staring at you, making small talk with you but he isn't making any effort to pursue things further.

It seems like you want him to confess that he is interested and he wants you to do the same. Either you can tell him point blank that you are interested then ask him out on a date or you can move on to a man that can actually admit he likes you and knows how to court a woman.

It's your choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 4:42pm
Doesn't he have a girlfriend???
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 7:29pm
He could be so shy that he cannot get himself to ask you out. why not ask him? Tell him that you like him and would like to get to know him better. good luck