Question re New Guy & V-Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Question re New Guy & V-Day
2
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:49pm

I was just wondering what anybody's thoughts were on this...

I just met a guy last week after e-mailing for quite a while. Been on 3 dates, last on Sunday, at end of which he was totally non-committal about next time we'd see each other. E-mailed Monday & yesterday several times, then yesterday afternoon asks if I'd like company for the evening (keep in mind we were in the middle of a massive snow/ice storm...colleges & gov't offices closing & such). He actually drove over here in the sleet under the guise of fixing my computer...which he looked at for about 30 seconds! He didn't try to push for sex (not like "I came over simply so you'd sleep with me) & when I asked if he wanted to stay b/c of the bad weather, seemed honestly surprised when I suggested he sleep in my room instead of on the couch. Other than some "fun", there was no sex.

He's kind of quiet (not a big talker) & kind of non-committal about upcoming events (ie, asked him if he wanted to go to an event I'm going to with friends this weekend twice - once said he'd play it by ear, once said he'd let me know), but when we're together he's usually got his hand on my knee, arm around me, kissing my forehead, playing with hair, etc. But, no mention of doing anything for V-Day. He is currently out of work & looking, but only has unemployment to pay all his bills (mortgage, car, utilities, etc.) He also has a match.com profile, but he hasn't been on there in almost 2 weeks - about the same time we started to seriously discuss meeting.

My question is, does anyone see any issues with no V-Day plans? I've never been very good at reading guys & these situations, and while I think that this is going really well & the non-committment to events or lack of V-Day invitation is simply b/c it's a new situation & the lack of income/uncertainty with job situation, I'm just afraid that I'm seeing what I want to see & not what's actually going on.
Sorry this is so long, but any input would be appreciated!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 9:20am

wonderinggirl2007...

The response is a day late, but here's PG's best guess:

If a man has a ton of financial obligations and currently is out of work...it's unlikely that'll he'll seriously think about "taking on a steady girlfriend!" Simply because...HE CAN'T AFFORD HER!

Here's something to keep in mind...

Consensual sex is a gift that's given from one person to another. But eventually...at least one half of the couple EXPECTS something more than 'a roll in the hay?'

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 10:37am
From what you tell us, I think the two of you are in sort of a beginning stage of courting and there is no requirement for VD plans. He seems non-commital, so see where it goes.