thinking about ex again

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2007
thinking about ex again
1
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 5:54pm
At 17 I fell head over heels for a 20 year old guy I'll call Neil. We had similar interests, he was intelligent, charming, cultured, and gorgeous. The downsides: He was from a wealthy family (and I wasn't) and he had dated a lot (jealousy/insecurity about his ex's). Also, I was 17 and a nervous wreck because I was so crazy about him. We got serious fast. He had to move after we'd been dating 3 months and we tried the long distance thing but about a month later he broke up with me. I was devastated. We continued "hooking up" for a while, but after 6 months I got a new boyfriend I'll call Will. Will was 18 like me. He was immature and wasn't such a good partner but there was something about him I really liked. I cheated on him horribly with Neil and we broke up. I dated randomly and even hooked up with Neil a liitle but eventually resented him because I regreted cheating on (and losing) Will. I felt like Neil was a jerk to Will (who he never liked) Will and I kept in contact. Eventually, after everyting I had done to him Will took me back and we have been together ever since. I broke off contact with Neil completely. This was three years ago. Things were great at first. Will has got a good heart and loves me unconditionally but we don't have much in common. I know I could marry him and have a good life. The spark is dying though. About a year ago Neil found me on myspace and we resumed occasional contact and recently I have been thining a lot about him. I feel like at 24 and 27 we wouldn't have a lot of the problems we had at 17 and 20. I'm not sure what to do about Will and I am not sure about Neil either! I don't even know if he wants me back but it seems possible. Help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 9:53am

kaleidoscopic82...

Pianoguy isn't trying to pick on you, but it appears that you CAN'T be happy with either Neil or Will...or perhaps any other male for that matter? Simply because...you're fond of COMPARING one b/f with another!

When a woman expects certain behavior from a new b/f...that a former b/f might have shown her...it's the AUTOMATIC KISS OF DEATH (in a relationship)!

It should come as no secret to anybody reading this that both sexes have their flaws---in addition to their "positive traits!" So if you're expecting a similar rush or desire from 2 completely different males:

FORGET IT!!!

This type of expectation will only frustrate them...as well as yourself!!!

Pianoguy