The Bad Boy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
The Bad Boy
2
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 6:44pm

I glanced through another book today, called "The Manual". The book is written by a man about men and what they want in a woman. A few things mirrored "Men Who Love Bitches", but not to a great extent.

He talks about the "bad boy" and players and the nice guy and "the suit." The guy on the cover of the book looks like the stereotypical bad boy;complete with the jeans, t-shirt, and the wry smile. There is a quiz in the book that tests your vulnerability to a bad boy. And of course, I tested positive to some of those answers.

People may confuse player with bad boy and they shouldn't. The book explains the differences from a male perspective.

I know that people feel that dating a bad boy is a sure fire way to get a broken heart. Not necessarily. I have experienced a few bad boys and they dont resemble Collin Farrell. Bad boy is an attitude more than a look. Just like men allege to like a woman with an "edge", so women like a man who is a wee bad. There is a bit of a devilish nature to them that is inviting that says, "Ooo, you and I could have fun together." Bad boys are somewhat socially deviant. Bad boys like to have fun and like to kick it up every now and then. But, they don't lose control of themselves or their lives. If they do lose control then they are of a different variety and have issues that need to be resolved. The book alikens bad boys to musicians to a great extent, but that is not true, at least for me. A bad boy doesn't mean someone who is going to treat you poorly - that would be an idiot, not a bad boy.

I think every woman owes it to herself to experience a bad boy. She shouldn't expect him to be the world's greatest lover because the lure that he has to women is not in his technique...again...it is attitude. When you are around a person like that days can be adventures even if you stay at home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
In reply to: snafu2006
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 8:10pm

Bad boys don't all look like Collin Farrell. I used to deny big time when people talked about bad boys. I would say not me, I like good boys. I realize too bad boys are not necessarily antisocial, drinking or using drugs. it's an attitude, men who aren't considerate, who don't call when they're supposed to, who take you for granted, won't commit. The bad boys I fall for are successful and are conventionally called "good boys". They went to school, do well in life. It's just that they lack the qualities that make for a lasting RS.

There is a balance. I would run fast if a man calls me several times a day and esp when I'm at work - that's not a sign of a good boy either. Just has no life. Anyway, it's good to know what makes you happy and the good boy is someone who not only looks good but who is also good to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: snafu2006
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 11:23pm

"They went to school, do well in life. It's just that they lack the qualities that make for a lasting RS."---> I find it seems as though they never grow up...in the relationship dept primarily. I would classify my first husband as a bad boy when we met 25 years ago, but he was very together about school and work and responsibility, but he had that "edge" about him...and we did have loads of fun together when things were good. And as you said, he has been successful in the careers he chose and is educated and based on what he has said, seems to be a good father.

"it's an attitude, men who aren't considerate, who don't call when they're supposed to, who take you for granted, won't commit." ---> this an example of an idiot.

"There is a balance."---> absolutely. What is a nice combination is a bad boy who has grown up --or maybe your definition of a good boy. The calling multiple times at work is someone who has too much down time.