More than friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
More than friends?
1
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 8:15pm

An old middle school boyfriend recently contacted me about a couple of months ago. He contacted me about 7 years ago, we lost touch, and now we're back in touch again. We've talked or texted each other everyday since he's gotten in touch with me. He lives a few states away and we haven't seen each other in person since middle school, about 18 years ago. We flirt a lot when we're texting and the content of the texts and our conversations elude to us being interested in each other as more than just friends but we've never blatantly said we're interesting in each other in that way.

The problem is that when we first started talking, he mentioned that he had a girlfriend and that their relationship was rocky and that it most likely would end. Since then, he hasn't mentioned her to me nor have I brought it up. His lifestyle certainly doesn't elude to him being in a relationship, ie, he's always either home, at work, studying, or at the gym. And any other time, he's on the phone with me or texting me. He usually texts me or calls me before he goes to bed to say goodnight, etc. So, I don't see when he's ever with his girlfriend, if they're still together. I would like to know for sure whether he and his girlfriend are still together and if he's interested in pursuing something more with more than friendship. Our interaction definitely makes me believe he's interested in being more than just friends, however, he's never come out and actually said that he wants more. My friends tell me that he's definitely interested in me if he's calling/texting everyday and telling me he misses talking to me or misses my texts.

So, how do I go about finding out what his true intentions are? It's hard for me to pursue this with him if I don't know where this is going, if anywhere. I would like to see him in person and I suggested that we meet half way between his state and mine to celebrate a big interview that's coming up for him and his response was "sounds good." Not too enthusiastic but he's still very much in contact with me everyday. Am I reading too much into our interactions? Should I just forget about pursuing anything with him and chuck it up to this being a flirtatious friendship? I could really use some insights on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 12:58am

You sound like you are comfortable with each other so you can just come out and ask him about his intentions.

Since he didn't jump at the chance of seeing you I would definitely question his newfound attention towards you. Chances are that his attention will wane over time. But, I do think you need not dedicate a lot of time and energy texting and phoning this guy if he has no desire to see you unless you need a flirtatious friend in your life.