how often do you see your bf weekly?
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| Fri, 07-13-2007 - 3:39pm |
How often do you see your boyfriend? How many times a week when you live in the same city about a ten minute walk from each other and work in the same large building?
I have been with my bf for two months, but we were together last year for four months and saw each other prabably 6 times a week. We prabably see each other 4-6 times a week, but I am feeling like I am the one adjusting my schedule at the last minute when he decides that he wants to see me/not go out with his friends/work longer hours? Tonight is the first night that I said I was going out with a couple of my friends (which I would rather see him, but at the same time I keep canceling on my friends when he decides at the last min to see me) on a friday and he was a tad taken back as it was the weekend--what does one usually do as I know every situation is different.
Thank you for your help!

I never adjusted my schedule for my bf.
Well, I can't say NEVER, but rarely. If I had something to do, I'd do it. I knew he'd be around the next day and if he really wanted my time, he'd plan in advance. The same went for him if he planned something on his own or with his own friends.
It's never been a problem.
Why do you adjust your schedule for him all the time?
We brokeup because we starting dating immediately after I ended my marriage and got hot/heavy so fast and then I started to have afterward emotional baggage breakup while going through divorce settlements at the same time my x was trying to win me back. I decided that I just needed to be alone for a bit. Then once my head was clear I realized how great he was to be there for me through all that and how much we had in common. I put in through a lot in the end with my wacky emotions. I felt that it was important at least the first month to show my efforts in trying to see him, but now I feel we are getting into this pattern that if he doesn't want to see his friends/work/work-out then he calls me, but he doesnt decide until the end of the day. He has people for work that fly in for dinners during the week and he is not very good at looking at his calander ahead of time.
I guess I am hesitant because prior to breaking up with him last year, I told him that I needed space and me time which put up some walls and I don't want him to misread the same thing?
No, if this is going to work long-term, he has to start looking at his schedule and not wait until the last second to call you.
If you want to have equitable give and take in the relationship, you have to start acting like it and quit kissing so very much of his butt.
Cancelling on your friends when, OMG, he has a free night for you even though he didn't ask you ahead of time. Not so good.
You want respect from him, then respect yourself and your time and your friends' time.
You don't have to spell out to him that you need me time or space, but you do need to start taking a night or two for yourself without feelign guilty about it.