What to do?
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What to do?
| Sat, 07-14-2007 - 4:53pm |
I had worked with this guy at the same store. During the time, we would have great conversations. At some point, while the guy I was starting to date had just become a bit too posessive, I finally broke it off, but he wouldn't accept it. This guy at my work place had offered to pick me up twice from my other job to warn the current possessor away from me. On the last night he picked me up, we got a bit intimate, but didn't have sex. He would seem to be professional at work. The subject of sex came up one day, but because I believed that he would have just used me and tossed me aside, I told him I deserved better than that. Then I had surgery, and before I went back to work, on my birthday, he asked me out to a movie or to go to a well-known local make-out place which he used the excuse of star-gazing, but I had to work so I told him another time. After that, he seemed to be aloof and avoiding me. THen a rumor had reached me that he was leaving this job for another. On his last day there, he told me he still wanted to "see me" even after he leaves. THen on his last night at work, he asked me if I would call him soon. I agreed. THen he asked me what i was doing monday afternoon. I replied that i was definitely not working, which he then asked me if i wanted to do something that afternoon. He then proceeded to tell me to call him that afternoon to "hang out". I hate to be a nag, but what does all this mean? And what does he really mean when he says he still wants to "see me" and "hang out"? If this would not go anywhere, I don't want to wait around for us to officially date when he gets to it. I am honestly so confused when it comes to him. What should I do? Please help, I really like, and have done so since the day I met him. I know he likes me but how do I know if he likes me enough to go out with me in sincerity? How do I show/tell him that he can be with me if only he treats me right? And what is the best way to tell him that I need to know if he really likes me and plans on dating me or if he just wants to use me? Also, info you need to know, bad relationships with other women who hurt him as he claims.

Okay, "hang out" with him this one time. Get to know him a little bit so you can decide if he is right for you to date. You mentioned you like him, but you really don't know him yet. Don't get too intimate with him that night, since you would worry later. When the time comes, he'll probably ask you if you want to "hang out" again. This is when you can say, "I dont want to hang out with you. But if you want to date me then I'm game." He may then ask you what the difference is...and that is when you can discuss what you see are the differences between hanging out and dating and what you are looking for.
"And what is the best way to tell him that I need to know if he really likes me and plans on dating me or if he just wants to use me?"---->the best way to address the situation is to focus on yourself and not on him. In other words, you state what you are looking for right now, like "I'm looking to date someone and be part of a couple, not a casual situation. What are you looking for right now?" Sometimes guys do lie in order to get laid, but if he does that you'll discover it early on because his behavior wont match his words. But, most guys that are into a casual sexual relationship wont want to push things further with you knowing you want a boyfriend.
"Also, info you need to know, bad relationships with other women who hurt him as he claims."---> they all say that - boo hoo.
The good news is that you will not be working with him any longer so if things don't go well down the road you wont have to face him every day.