Dating an alcoholic?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Dating an alcoholic?
4
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 5:53pm

I started dating a guy about a month ago and just found out yesterday that he is an alcoholic who has recently decided to get into AA. My question is, what kinds of "rules" are there to dating someone this early on into the program. I heard from a friend that they're not supposed to date anyone in the first year? Anyone know this for sure...i just don't wanna sink my heart into this any more than it already is, because overall he is just the sweetest, loving, most generous guy i've ever met.

Thanks for any help on this :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 9:39pm
I cant help with this one because I know nothing about dating alcoholics, or dating alcoholics in AA. I believe my second ex husband did have some kind of an alcohol dependency but he never acknowledged it. You could call an AA chapter near you and find out more. Be careful with him. I know you said he is wonderful, but men are selfish by nature and he could have started dating you knowing he would soon enter AA and would need a crutch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:20am
I believe you're right, he's not supposed to be dating at this juncture. Why not go to an Alanon meeting and see what being involved with an alcoholic is like?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 6:23pm
Again, consider attending an Alanon meeting but definitely see how deep his problems lie before getting seriously involved.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 7:11pm

Getting involved with an alcoholic is not a good idea. Anyone who has an addiction has a difficult if almost impossible task to stop his or her addiction. The addict needs a very strong emotional person to cope with his or her addiction. The loved ones of the addict suffer.

If you think you are emotionally able to take the trials and tribulations of the addict, stay with him.

There have been successful marriages, (George Jones and his wife, Johnny Carter and June, his wife of many years) are couples who have endured much misery and stayed together.

I wish you well.