Family pictures!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Family pictures!
2
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 9:05am
Hey all -- I hope I've come to the right place with my problem! I defiantly need some advice! So, here goes ... my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now! We met down in Georgia because he was stationed in the Army down there ... well hes recently been discharged and I have moved with him back to his home town... its nearly 800 miles from my family, so its a big step for me!!!! So my problem is that today his parents have scheduled a family picture day ... I figured I was invited because I feel practically part of the family since I've always been close to his parents and brother, like really close and they always call me their daughter and stuff! Also, since we just recently moved, we have been staying with them for almost 2 1/2 weeks now and I didn't think they would just leave me sitting here when they go get pictures! Well, what I thought was wrong ... I wasn't invited! I'm pretty hurt and upset! I understand I'm not officially part of the family yet, but still, in my opinion they didn't have to go about it in such a way where I feel left out! I think they could have at least invited me to come along and maybe they could have done a group picture with me in it and one without me in it! Or even just get one picture of my boyfriend and I alone and keep that -- something, anything to make me feel included!?!?!?!?! Maybe I'm over reacting here .... but I just feel a little left out! Especially since over the summer I took my boyfriend along on a family vacation (which I've never done with any other boyfriend before) and my dad invited him into the family picture! So I feel it would have been nice to invite me! So I obviously can't force my way into the picture -- and pouting about it gets me no where ... but how do I express my feelings to my boyfriend!? I don't want to start a fight over it, I want to tell him how I feel a little excluded and left out, but without sounding like I'm attacking him! I feel like he could have said or done more for me! He could have suggested to his mom and dad that I should come along and be in one picture -- anything! Please tell me I'm not completely insane and I have a tiny bit reason to feel hurt and upset!?!?!?!? I just feel like we are serious and they know this and its such a blow to have me not in a family picture! I mean I understand there is always the chance of my boyfriend and I breaking up and then they have me in a family picture -- but thats why I'd suggest taking one with me and one without! Ugh ... I don't know what to do! Any advice would be great! Thanks so much! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
In reply to: rocky_22
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 11:42am

I don't think this is something you should mention to your boyfriend, and I think you should let it go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: rocky_22
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 12:57pm
I think you are justified in your feelings. You have been with him for 2 years now...not a flash in the pan. He could have stuck up for you and made his feelings known. Instead he went along with "family". That is something you need to pay close attention to...his willingness to appease his family over doing what is right. So, no you are not insane and I think there is a way to address it with him without looking foolish. You just need to tell him that this is the first time you noticed that he lacks an important trait and that it is an important trait or quality in a man...that he stand by your side and not allow anyone to diminish you. I wouldn't whine or cry about it...I would just say it very matter of factly to him and see if that sparks him to want to be a better man for you.