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| Mon, 09-03-2007 - 4:26pm |
So, I have been seeing this great guy for about 3 months now. I recently posted a discussion about him titled "confused and afraid". Anyway, he has been under a lot of stress lately, with job hunting, money issues, and finding out that his dad has cancer. The bad karma just seems to be piling up for him. A few days ago, he was in such a depressed mood that he didn't even want me to come to his volleyball game. He said he didn't feel like being social. That hurt me, but I respected his wish for space. That same night, to make matters worse for him, his car broke down.
We texted a bit back and forth on Friday. On Saturday, he asked me if I wanted to go to a BBQ with him, and i said yes. He was just really going to the BBQ for his roomie/best friend who was going; He ended up changing his mind and saying he didn't want to go. So instead, we watched some TV, and then later went to the movies. Afterwards we got some take out and went back to his place to watch some more tv. It was pretty late, about 3am, so i ended up crashing at his place. He said "wanna crash here? sleep only". I slept in his bed, and he held me all night. We haven't had sex in about 2 weeks, and i'm just attributing that to him being under a lot of stress.
Sunday morning i went home to change, then i got some fast food and brought it back to his place. We watched a couple of movies on the couch. Every once in a while he would kiss my temple or the top of my head as we watched the movie, and he kept caressing my arm. He said "thank you", when he kissed my temple. I'm thinking it's because i'm hanging with him and not pressuring him to have sex and stuff. And telling him "no, you're not worthless. You'll find something soon". I've been very positive with him.
When i left Sunday afternoon, he walked me to my car (like always) and kissed me very deeply before I left. That sort of reassured me that he's still into me, but i can't be too sure. I know i should probably just ask him, but i guess i'm afraid he'll say something like "let's just be friends" or something. In fact, he's never actually come out and said i'm his girlfriend.
I'm thinking I should just keep being there for him, and caring for him, no matter how distant and depressed he gets sometimes. The thing is, i'm not a big "talker", and I guess i'm just afraid to ask him what's really on his mind, especially when it comes to me....
Any words of advice? Sorry for the long post...

If I didnt know you were a woman and he was a man I would think you were the man and he was the woman, based on how you described the two of you.
He sounds like a woman who is depressed. He doesnt want sex or be pressured to have sex and he may or may not want company. But, he does want someone with him who will support him.
You said you are not much of a talker, but you can ask him "how do you want me to be here for you?" or "just tell me what you need from me right now and I'll be there." This way communication stays open, yet you dont seem like you are prying or are pressuring him.
Hopefully things clear up for him soon. Too much bad at once does is no good for one's soul.