Should I call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2008
Should I call?
9
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 7:20pm

So, about a week in a half ago I met up with a guy from Match.com for Happy Hour. I had a good time, we had great conversation with few awkward pauses. We realized that we know some mutual people because we went to the same college and it seemed as though we might have some other things in common. He even made a comment about me being a new "happy hour buddy". On his Match profile he made it pretty clear that he's the type of guy that wants to take things slow and be friends before getting in a serious relationship. This is fine with me because I'm not one to rush into relationships either. He also made several comments about being focused on his career right now- he just landed his first job out of law school at a well known firm.

Anyway, he hasn't called me or emailed me (initially we were emailing each other) since we met. Oh, and I'm not sure if I'm reading into this too much but when we exchanged numbers he asked me if I wanted to put his number in my phone, I did, and then I called his phone so he could have mine too (I watched him save it). Since he didn't straight out ask me for my number does that mean something?? Now everyone says that if a guy is truly interested he'll pursue you or make time for you no matter what. I feel like this is true to an extent, but I really want to get to know this guy better. But on the other hand I also hate always having to take on the aggressive role- it would be nice for someone to pursue me for once. Maybe I'm a little impatient but I feel like a week in a half is enough time for someone to call. My question is, should I email him (or call) and ask him if he wants to do happy hour again? Or should I just wait to see if he contacts me or assume he's not interested???

Oh, and this probably doesn't have anything to do with anything (I hope) but his Match.com account is now closed.

Edited 9/4/2007 7:24 pm ET by niquesrr




Edited 9/4/2007 7:34 pm ET by niquesrr
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: niquesrr
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 7:40pm

Unless you just want to be buds with him, I'd just let it go and not call.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
In reply to: niquesrr
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:38am
If you want someone to pursue you, you have to be willing to not pursue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: niquesrr
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 1:57pm

It seems that you wish to be more than a happy hour buddy. I know the feeling of wanting to be pursued and I'm sure men are loving the fact that women have taken up the task of pursuing and wish it was done years earlier. If this guy is moving too slow for you, then move on.

I know he said he wants to be friends before getting into a serious relationship, but that spells friends with benefits to me. One dates and then moves the relationship to the next level. You dont go from friends to serious, know what I mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
In reply to: niquesrr
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 4:42am

I say go for it. Take a chance. If you end up just being friends, at least you tried. Beats sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. He is probably stressed and focused a lot in work, but he might want to hear a sympathetic phone call every now and then.

It is a great feeling when a guy pursues you, but sometimes we have to give them a little push!

Cristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
In reply to: niquesrr
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 11:37am

Hi

Men and dating.............it can suck so much sometimes........LOL!! I never know what to do either. You could just drop him an email, this saves face for both of you. Hey, had a nice time the other night and enjoyed your company. Maybe we could get together again sometime. Give me a call...............if you don't hear a peep from him. He thought you were nice but he just wasn't interested that way. Had this happen to me about a month ago. We talked, met once, had a nice time. We didn't exchange numbers, just talked online and in email. I didn't hear from him after our date, so I did the above and I sent the number in my email. He waited a few days to answer, but I already knew..... said he would call, but ofcourse he didn't. He was just being nice and didn't want to hurt my feelings. It was ok......... ALWAYS sucks when they reject you....MUCH better when you reject them.....lol!!! They'll call you if they want you..... I have a habit of over pursuing to, lol.... have my own question posted here also!

Good Luck

Met a great guy on Match 2 yrs ago, had a great relationship for 1 1/2 yrs.....just wasn't the one.

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Gershwin, Bach & Gu
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: niquesrr
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 2:23pm
I would wait for him to make the 1st contact
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2008
In reply to: niquesrr
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 4:52pm
Thanks for the advice. Well, I went against the grain and I actually called him yesterday evening. Like I figured he said that he's just been really busy with his new job and he's been traveling home (3 hours away) alot for some family stuff. We only talked for about five mintues, just some small talk. He actually said that he would be free after work on Thrusday (without me asking):-) I think you were right, he just needed a little push. For some reason, and I could be totally wrong, I just get the feeling that he hasn't dated alot(mabye that was why he was on Match). I would really like for things to work out, so far he seems like a good catch, but even if they don't maybe I'll at least make a good friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
In reply to: niquesrr
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 1:17am
Glad I could help :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: niquesrr
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 8:42pm
I agree. He knows your number
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