Any other suggestions for Age/Sex Matter
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Any other suggestions for Age/Sex Matter
| Sun, 12-02-2007 - 11:31pm |
Hello. Okay, so I need some advice. I am 19 and I was recently dating this guy who is 29. We work together and he is my boss. When I first started working, we were instantly attracted to one another. I didn't act upon it, however, because he was my boss. Eventually, he asked for my number and we started talking. He originally thought I was 22, 23.

Please don't take offence as I'm just trying to be honest here. Honestly, I think that he's too old for you, and he's right. A 10 year age difference during this time of your life is a HUGE age difference. It'd be one thing if you were 30 and he was 40, but you're 19 and he's 29. I also think that you can tell yourself that you just honestly are ready to have sex, but in the same paragraph you said that, you also said that it appeared you had everything going for your relationship except sex, sex is an important part of the relationship, so you can't help but wonder if having sex with him would have meant that you'd still be together. Um. hello? To me this sounds like, despite what you might be telling yourself, you think that sleeping with him will bring him back to you. That's not a reason to sleep with someone.
You can be a very mature 19 year old. I believe you. I also know that I was a very mature 19 year old. My sister is a very mature 19 year old. But there's a WORLD of difference between my sister and my friends, and I'm only 25.
I don't think he sounds like a bad guy at all. He sounds like he realizes that you're too young for him, and that if you stayed together ,you'd end up making a mistake and regret it. Seriously, you have so much living to do in your 20s- why rush it by entering a relationship with a guy in his 30s (practically)? Your 20s are such a time to grow and, as corny as it my sound, "find yourself." You shouldn't skip any steps!
Bella
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"If he really felt like you were worthy of his time, he wouldn't have let you go."
Thank you for confirming this for me.
Hey I want to let you know my honest opinion on your situation... Coming from someone who did have a relationship with an older man when I was 19... This guy was 31 and we did have sex. He also told me how mature he thought I was. Like you, he thought I was 23-24, and that made me feel great. I ended up getting tangled up in that relationship for a few years and resenting him and myself because he was always several steps ahead and far more experienced. (This is the extreme-lite version of how I felt.)
Age difference is okay, in my opinion if the younger person has already lived through their 20's and gotten to know themselves. Nineteen is too young to be entering into a relationship with a man who is at a different place in his life. The experience of a 19 yo and a 29 yo is far different. He would know this, but you at your age wouldn't yet (no offense meant here).
That guy made the right decision to discontinue dating you. Good for him. It is quite the moral dilemma and I think he proved he is a good guy by choosing that path. And you shouldn't want to be with someone who feels guilty (rightfully so) about being with you.
My advice to you..move on with your life. Your 20's are an adventurous time of your life. It won't be long before you'll meet someone else even better than he seems. Trust me it won't be long!