Holiday party date delimma

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Holiday party date delimma
9
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 3:19pm

I have a holiday party to go to on Saturday evening. It is at my bosses house, very casual, just co-workers and friends. I have been thinking about taking my sometimes FWB (we'll call him Pool Boy) with me to the party. He is a really nice guy, but I don't want my co-workers to start asking questions and thinking he and I are a couple. I've never taken a date to any of these parties before so it might cause somewhat of a stir.

I also don't want Pool Boy to start thinking that I'm changing the rules of our arrangement. That would be an awkward conversation.

"Hey Pool Boy go to this party with me, but don't read anything into it because its not a real date."

It might just be easier to go alone anyway. Grrr.

Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 5:35pm

1) you can ask pool boy for a favor - friend to friend - to go with you to a party


2) if you take pool boy, just introduce him as a friend


3) avoid the drama all together and just go alone for the obligatory "show your face" and then meet pool boy afterwards!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 9:12pm

I'd go alone!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 8:58am

I like your suggestions! However after further review, I'm thinking that going alone might be the ticket (and maybe see Pool Boy later). I just dread the thought of going to yet another one of these events, full of married people, alone.

I hate the comments of "We need to get YG a boyfriend, she's such a great girl!" I know they all think that it is a compliment and they just want to help. But it's a backhanded compliment. It's like when someone notices that you've lost weight and they say "Wow you've lost weight, you look great! You make me sick!"

It's just that it seems this year, I am feeling very antsy about all of this. Not really sure why, but I'm feeling it just the same. I find myself actually turning down invitations to events because I don't want to go alone because I know I will be the only single girl there. I know the man of my dreams is not going to walk up to my door and find me, but honestly, it is easier to sit home and not have to deal with looking available and being charming, or chatty.

Okay rant is over!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 11:07am

I know how you feel - going to a party alone is not always the most fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 12:05pm

I don't think any of the ladies at this party see me as a threat. I have worked with many of these people for a long time. I really do believe that their comments have no malicious intent, it's just that they don't get it because they have not been single for a really long time. Many times people are happy and they want their single friends to be happy too, but happy in a relationship as they are. Sometimes there is no concept on the part of others that you can be happy alone, which for the most part I am, but still I would like to have a boyfriend eventually.

But even disregarding the comments, it gets really hard to be in a house full of couples and you are single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 3:41pm
I know - it is hard being the single one at a party.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 4:15pm

One thing I forgot to add...when I have gone to events alone...I have had the best times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 4:40pm
I think you may be right. Besides, I have a designated driver (I'm riding with a co-worker) so if it's starts to get to me, I can just drink until it's fun. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 12:13pm
Explain parties are awkward to go to alone. Ask if even though you're not dating he'll be your "plus one" and volunteer to do the same for him if asked
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