Should I go back to Ex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Should I go back to Ex?
7
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 6:38pm

Hi everyone.


I previously posted about my

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 8:08pm

This is a tough one angelhill99.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 8:19pm

I agree with the previous poster.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 12:01am

The only way you will find out if it will work is by getting back together to see what develops. I don't know about the lying, plus the ex sending him flirtateous messages, what kind of closure did he come to?, and also if she is really done or over him. She knows how to get a hold of him and did not respect him nor you if she was texting him and he lyed to you about it, I don't get the part in him not telling you in the first place. Starting a relationship lying is not the best way, who know's what else he may have lied about. To me lying is a deal breaker - my ex started lying to me after one year of relationship (we were supposed to get married). He lied about the simplest little things, which were crazy, then I started wondering if he had been lying to me all along and wondering what he had kept from me. I had to break the relationship because I could not come to peace in the fact that my fiance lied to me (the one who was supposed to love me unconditionally was lying to me). Follow your heart if you really want to be with him. As far as getting hurt, the only way to find out if getting back together and we do have to allow ourselves to take risks to see what develops. Just follow your heart. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

Anna


Anna

 

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 11:12am

This is a big risk, no doubt about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 8:55pm

northwestwanderer, I agree with your post, their is no reason good enough to justify lying, once someone lies for the simplest/littlest things, who knows what else they are lying about - I would definately say a deal breaker. I had to break of with ex after two years of serious relationship because at the end he was lying to me about the simplest little things. I can't do the lying stuff - I don't lie to anyone and can't handle someone lying to me too. I would say Big Risk if she's gets back together with ex. I know I would be wondering all the time if he's lying or not. He should have been honest to her to begin with, with honesty people earn trust/respect from the other person, better credability as opposed to none. As I have always told my children and other, be honest and people will respect you more.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 3:25pm

The ex you had for 2 years who lied about the simplest things probably had some sort of psychological disorder.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 10:02pm

Yep, I would say something is wrong with them. It is so much easier to be honest and earn trust by people, than trying to keep lying to keep up with them. My ex had said once that he tries not to lie, which was on my mind for a while because I thought why would someone say that. Then when his daughter got pregnant at 18 and said she was on birth control, he said that she never lied. Interesting, very slim chance that someone can get pregnant while on birth control. He was in so much denial that his daughter was an angel, please. A big issue I had was that he was divorced 8 years and had title with ex on house and vehicles. I used to always bring that up because I could not get past the idea that is someone is divorced why have title together. His comment to me was that he was divorced for 8 years and was that not good enough. To me no, thank God it's no longer my problem to worry about. Much better off out of the relationship and believe me no turning back. It took 4 times to break up for good. I got the picture very clear and broken up for good. It's pretty bad that people have to lie about the simplest things, says alot about them. I just don't get it. Lying is a no no and no good enough reason to justify it, especially when covering up an ex.

Anna


Anna