Relationship with a separated man

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Relationship with a separated man
12
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 4:46pm

About a month or so ago I met a man online.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 6:10pm
You haven't told him your age and


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 6:45pm

Be careful on this one.

KRISTIE
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 6:54pm

You're putting the cart WAY before the horse here--you need to meet the guy in person before you start thinking about anything else.


An "intense relationship" where you've never met in person is one that doesn't exist in reality, IMO.


You've gone through this type of thing before, haven't you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 8:54pm

"The next day he said that he has been separated for a year and hasnt asked for a divorce because he loves his daughter and doesnt want to jeopardise the visits to her."


And you believe this?


"However..I am 20 years older than him (he doesnt know it) and cannot have children so basically feel that even if he were single it would be useless to marry him anyway."


You dont have any relationship here or any kind of respect for this man if you can deceive him this way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 10:14pm
There are several issues going on, first why have you not told him about your age, why are you deceiving him? Secondly, you deserve someone who is not married, how can you fall for his excuse in having children to not file for divorce. Please, either he wants out or not. When someone does, they will get out the right way with without stringing someone else along. Also, it sounds like you too are alike in deceiving each other, remember what you do to him, he's also doing to you, you both have the same deceiving behaviour. Why in the world would you move to his country, have not even met him in person, and what do you think he will say when he see's you. Do you look twenty years younger to where he may think you're around his age. I don't know about you both. Remember what goes around, comes around. It does not sound like you are serious either, because if you were you would have already disclosed your age to him, makes me wonder what else you both have kept from each other. Not a healthy way to start a relationship. From what I have read in other posts, when someone is married, there is no such thing as dating, it's called affair.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 8:30am

ok

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 3:10am

Thanks for the input:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 6:23am

"I think I should now make it clear to him that although we are staying in the same room it is because he has no money and i expect him to treat me with courtesy and I will lie on top of the bed. I will also tell him I expect him to court me with flowers like other men have done (I just want to see how he takes this!!!!). I cannot see why he wants to treat me as a piece of meat when he keeps saying he loves me!! it is all very insulting:("

Per your statement above - Good Luck! Sounds like he's just looking for sex. I don't understand why you are still going over there. He's not the only man left in this world, why can you try to meet someone in your own town? No need to travel so far to meet someone who is lying to you. PLEASE!!!, he does not have money and can't make calls, I sure hope you are not falling for those excuses (lies). I am blown away in the fact you are going to stay in the same room with him - I sure hope and pray that he does not hurt you. You need to practice safe dating, where you meet people in public before riding/staying with them. You are fooling yourself if you really think he's going to court you with flowers and all. I also noticed how you said you are the one calling him all the time, why are you chasing after a man? Of course, he's not going to say no if he can get sex. How does the saying go "why buy the milk when you can get it for free". Obviously that's how he feels, especially when you are paying your travel/hotel to go see this guy.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 8:17am

Well firstly I am going there to check out the place since I plan to relocate to Turkey next year.


Secondly; I am not a 21 year old virgin and even if I was that age, my ex found a 20 year old in a disco, slept with her the same night and they have been together for 2 years now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 9:10am

Taking risks are fine when they are for the right reasons and for something worthwhile. The risks you are talking about sound down right foolish. That is not taking risks - that is being reckless.

Toni

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