What's up with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2008
What's up with this?
10
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 11:06pm

Problem: Every guy I meet wants to invite me over to their house

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 11:23pm
These guys sound like they'd rather skip a few steps and just straight away get to the sex..It messes up the whole getting-to-know-process (if they are even interested in getting to know you besides your body) to jump to an unrealistic level of intimacy. Sure there are the exceptions but that's rare from my experience. That happy hour guy sounds like a chump. That whole club vs your quiet house is pretty fishy! Don't fall for it...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 1:29am
I understnad your message title now.
KRISTIE
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 11:37am

When I read your post a few points came to mind.


-It might never occur to a guy that we need to be especially careful as single women. Safety with strangers is not as much of a concern for men. Sad reality of the day we live in. So it could be ignorance on their part.


-They just want sex and are pretty bold about setting the stage for it. Not exactly the most gentlemanly approach.


-They are broke and don't want to spend any money on dates, and lack the creativity to set up a not-so-expensive-but-still-nice date. Dating men in their 20s can sometimes be awkward for this reason.


Still, three guys in a row??? That's a record!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 4:41pm

Based on all of the scenarios you posted, I'd have to say these men are either looking for a low maintenance woman or trying to get to know a woman to determine compatibility without spending lots of money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2008
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 3:58pm

Thanks for the advice everyone, I think you're all right!


Well, the first guy (Blockbuster Night) did actually take me out twice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 5:12pm

I agree. It definitely does sound fishy - you want to be with someone who will respect where you're at and the pace you want to take to get more intimate.
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 5:41pm
lol about taking numbers! That's a great idea ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 11:41am

Something I've found very helpful in meeting new guys is my "no number" policy with strangers. When I first meet someone, I will either trade email addresses or myspace ids. I do not give out my number to strangers anymore. I've found this approach to be a lot easier to manage. It sure beats giving my number out to someone who could very well be a lunatic!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2007
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 11:00pm
It seems to happen to me a lot too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 9:01pm
i think you did the right thing, because even the most strong willed person could snap under a situation like that, and for you to not know these guys at all, for all you know any one of them could be a rapist and that is how you should treat them so that you can be careful...it is not a new trend, this happens to me too, and you know what i find out about them in the end? all they wanted was a good time and that they had way too many of these for me to even consider dating them...guys like these, need to grow up and learn that that particular brain is not the one that is important or the one that needs to take control.