Xmas Spending and Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Xmas Spending and Issues
1
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 12:54am
I have been with my boyfriend since April (we were on and off before that since Aug 06). We went shopping to the maul together over the weekend to get ideas for each other-everything he pointed out to me that he liked was either under 20 bucks or over $5000 (massager chair, expensive watches, pinball machine). My thoughts were to spend around $400ish. On the way home in the car, he asked the question "what do you think we should spend on each other for christmas?"...I said, I duno what do you think and he said, "how about $2000"---my face almost dropped to the ground and of course his phone rings with his boss on it and my face dropped and said "2000 no way!", he said "I am on the phone with my boss, afterwards" Well then he dropped me off and we have not visited the conversation since. What would your reaction be?

Since, the weekend, I have been totally bumming about this conversation and I mean it has totally taken the joy out of christmas for me and wanting to give a gift to him. He often reminds me that he makes more than five times what I make, yet he is rather cheap with me. He will spend thousands on his guy weekend trips and he has sent me flowers a couple times at work, but other than that a couple of my friends think he is a little cheap with me. It is like he totally loves the image of being with me, but not so good as to help me out when it doesn't reflect him. We are going a trip to Europe for one week in january (splitting 50/50) that I am really looking forward to and I have said to him that this is a stretch for me and even asked him if we could just say that is our christmas gift to each other and he says, "No, I love all the gifts that you get me and looking forward to a christmas gift"


I am confused as how much to weigh this into our relationship? We have been having differences lately and this just kind of was the icing on the cake of it for me. I am even letting his best friend stay at my place for the month (his wife and him are going through a divorce decided a couple weeks ago), so he could get things in order-where to find a place etc. I was like ok at first, then last week I asked my bf so when do you think you friend is going to move out of my place?...he said, well not until his house is sold. My bf and I have been living together since, but I have given up a lot of me alone time. The third big issue is that (he has said that he would like me to come back to his company (where we met and i left) and we had dinner with the cfo on saturday, and he actually sent an email to the cfo of his company on monday with my current work email address bcc'ed (my boss reads my emails) in the header line-would love to come back to the company)---I was really ticked off about this one on monday


Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you for taking the time to listen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 9:22am

"The third big issue is that (he has said that he would like me to come back to his company (where we met and i left) and we had dinner with the cfo on saturday, and he actually sent an email to the cfo of his company on monday with my current work email address bcc'ed (my boss reads my emails) in the header line-would love to come back to the company)---I was really ticked off about this one on monday."


It sounds like this guy would like you to get fired...a real sicko.