what do I do next?
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what do I do next?
| Sun, 12-16-2007 - 6:47am |
I accidently posted this on another messageboard, so apologize if you've already read it, I guess I'm just after some advice really.
There is this guy that I have known for a few years now, although we only really see each other a couple of time a year. He is the cousin of my best friend so I usually only see him around the holiday period but when we do see each other we get along really well. We're not "friends" as we don't really ever see each other, but as i said, we get along very well when we see each other on the rare occasion.
Anyway, last week I ended up going back to his house with my friend where we all stayed up past dawn. We sat around just chatting and stuff with him, his cousin and 2 of his friends (i was the only female there, by the way.) He asked me to go downstairs to his bedroom so he could show me his new pet, which i did. Then he proceeded to show me what his mom had just given him and what he had bought his brother for christmas etc, just about anything he could get his hands on, he showed me. So after his few moments of show and tell I just said that i was going back upstairs, which i did. Then later on, after the sun had risen, we were getting ready for bed (i was sleeping in a spare bedroom) and i just happened to be in his room again, we were both sitting on his bed just making small talk. We couldn't even look each other in the eye and if i'd look at him, i'd notice he was looking at me out the corner of his eye. It was all very flirty. The problem is, we are both really shy. He, more so than me. He has never had a grilfriend - ever, despite being in his 20s. It just felt a little awkward and I knew that i could never have it in me to make the first move, so I got off his bed and said goodnight and just went in the other room, closing the door behind me.
I guess my questions are do you think I sent the wrong messages in that i wasn't interested if i just got up and left his room on 2 occasions? Does a guy invite you into his room and show you all his stuff if he isn't interested?
If you do think he may be interested, is it likely that i will have to make the first move? I have considered this and let his sister know tonight that i had a little crush on her brother. Is that enough or do i have to do something more? I need some advice on what to do i guess.
As i said, he is painfully shy. Not just a little shy, but overly shy.
I know this all sounds a little juvenile, i've just never been in the position before where i've had to initiate anything so i feel lost. I feel as if he likes me, but i can't be sure of that because he is so different than most guys i know. One of his other cousins told my friend (their cousin) that she thought something was going on between us because she thought there is a "vibe" between us and she has commented on it before, before she even knew that i liked him.
I guess I am just looking for any advice at all!! Any comments to give me any idea will be most appreciated!!! I guess it is also imperative that i do something soon because my friend is moving interstate in 2 weeks so I probably won't see the guy i like after my friend moves. What should i do? Do you think I should pursue something or should i just let it be??
There is this guy that I have known for a few years now, although we only really see each other a couple of time a year. He is the cousin of my best friend so I usually only see him around the holiday period but when we do see each other we get along really well. We're not "friends" as we don't really ever see each other, but as i said, we get along very well when we see each other on the rare occasion.
Anyway, last week I ended up going back to his house with my friend where we all stayed up past dawn. We sat around just chatting and stuff with him, his cousin and 2 of his friends (i was the only female there, by the way.) He asked me to go downstairs to his bedroom so he could show me his new pet, which i did. Then he proceeded to show me what his mom had just given him and what he had bought his brother for christmas etc, just about anything he could get his hands on, he showed me. So after his few moments of show and tell I just said that i was going back upstairs, which i did. Then later on, after the sun had risen, we were getting ready for bed (i was sleeping in a spare bedroom) and i just happened to be in his room again, we were both sitting on his bed just making small talk. We couldn't even look each other in the eye and if i'd look at him, i'd notice he was looking at me out the corner of his eye. It was all very flirty. The problem is, we are both really shy. He, more so than me. He has never had a grilfriend - ever, despite being in his 20s. It just felt a little awkward and I knew that i could never have it in me to make the first move, so I got off his bed and said goodnight and just went in the other room, closing the door behind me.
I guess my questions are do you think I sent the wrong messages in that i wasn't interested if i just got up and left his room on 2 occasions? Does a guy invite you into his room and show you all his stuff if he isn't interested?
If you do think he may be interested, is it likely that i will have to make the first move? I have considered this and let his sister know tonight that i had a little crush on her brother. Is that enough or do i have to do something more? I need some advice on what to do i guess.
As i said, he is painfully shy. Not just a little shy, but overly shy.
I know this all sounds a little juvenile, i've just never been in the position before where i've had to initiate anything so i feel lost. I feel as if he likes me, but i can't be sure of that because he is so different than most guys i know. One of his other cousins told my friend (their cousin) that she thought something was going on between us because she thought there is a "vibe" between us and she has commented on it before, before she even knew that i liked him.
I guess I am just looking for any advice at all!! Any comments to give me any idea will be most appreciated!!! I guess it is also imperative that i do something soon because my friend is moving interstate in 2 weeks so I probably won't see the guy i like after my friend moves. What should i do? Do you think I should pursue something or should i just let it be??

Just because a guy invites you into his room doesnt mean that you have to have sex with him...yet do assume that he'd like that to happen.
I think you should do something. It doesn't have to be any billboard sign declarations. Just a simple little comment. A "No Big deal" comment that gives him enough room to make his decision.
If you both have a similar interest you could say:
"I heard that "so and so band" new CD comes out this week. Would you like to go to the music store and check it out?"
"I heard the movie "fill in blank" is playing this friday and it sounds like a really good movie."
This gives him enough suggestion that you hinting at doing something but you are not out right asking him.
I don't think guys want to be asked out. I do think they need some subtle hints.
I know my suggestions need to be tailored to your age and interest so just go with it. If you don't you will never know.
Can you live with that? If you can then he wasn't really worth it to begin with. Maybe your just really interested b/c you like the game of figuring him out? Whatever the reason I think you should give it your best shot. You have NOTHING to lose. And if you just suggest something and he doesn't take the bait then you know he didn't think you were worth it. Who wants a guy like that?
Good Luck....................