In need of Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In need of Help
17
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 1:58pm
I am in need of help its been a few years since i last dated. So i was out on a Sunday night and met someone. Had a nice time no numbers exchanged and so on. Nice flirting and conversation. A few days later he came back in and asked one of my friends where i was. So
my friend called me and the new guy left a message. Not many men have come looking for me and asked someone they did not know where I was. The message he left did say I came to see you and your not here a few times?
So I came out and hung out with him and 2 of his friends for a few hours. Both nights at the end of the night he kissed me goodbye. This 2nd night he says you have my number call me. So I called the next night, nothing, the next day called and he was too busy to talk. Next night called to invite him out and something like you told me to call so i am? The next day he sent a text message saying he was busy when I had called the other day and was getting wet on his bike. Well I didn’t respond to the text until 9 hours later when I went out. I texted him to tell him I was out and he texted me he was in the same town and at another spot. So I texted later if you get a chance swing by. Nothing. So im not sure what all is going on or how I should do things. Some men like the chase, some like to be chased. Im not a game player when it comes to things. Im not clingy i dont want someone around all the time. He did make a big jump by going to a place and asking a total stranger if i was coming. He had no idea who this person was. So he went out of his way and i did my part by calling. I left the i had a nice time and stuff on the voicemail. Im just not used to this nor do i have time with the holidays here and im going out of town in a few days. Im not used to having instant chemistry with someone.


Edited 12/17/2007 3:29 pm ET by cherry0125

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 4:05pm
It seems strange that he would go out of his way to see where you are and then not follow through with a phone call or any actions that would indicate that he was still interested.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 4:12pm
Thanks, its just so odd to go out of someones way like that. I mean i know he works long hours and rides a bike and all that. But to text me in the am on the 3rd day i was like do people still play the 3 day rule? Then when i say im out, him text that he is out in the same city and i am an so on. I mean im busy would sufice. Just like the explaining i was on my bike when you called and getting wet and getting wet now 2? Seems like a nice guy, approach is kinda odd? I figure ill deal with it if he comes around and do my normal what are you looking for or wanting? No clue on this one. The ones i dont like i figure out in 5 minutes, ones i do i never can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 4:17pm

You should be very flattered. The facts are he was attracted and interested enough to come and look for you. He was so interested that he went the extra mile.


Now he's not interested (brutal but true). He isn't even giving you a ounce of his time or energy. Not returning your calls and/or not giving you a second of his time to talk. It takes nothing for him to just talk.


I know and you know that you are worth more. I think he has thrown you off kilter b/c you were attracted to him also. You are questioning what's right and what's wrong. Do I chase or let him chase me.


But let's think about what you want.


1. Do you want to chase a boy?


2. Do you want to be sitting by the phone?


3. Do you want to put so much emotional and mental energy into a guy that won't even talk to you on the phone?


If you answer NO then good.


You were interesting and attractive enough for one man to hunt you down so I KNOW there will be another man just around the corner. My advice. DO NOT CALL HIM, TEXT HIM. Do what they call the NO CONTACT rule.


I had a guy that would dangle just enough attention in front of me and then withdraw. I spent a year waiting for him to realize what a great catch I was. I wasted a whole year waiting for him to come around. I would text him and he wouldn't even respond. I don't know why I was so into him. I just stopped trying to analyze him and the situation and started to think about what I wanted and how I wanted to be treated. This guy didn't even come close to fitting the bill. So I started the no contact rule. I avoided place I would see him. And didn't call or text him. 2 months later I feel great. My mind and heart are happy and not stressing over him. I am read to meet a guy who will call me, text me and give me his time b/c I'm worth it.


SO ARE YOU......................................................


Good luck........................

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 12-18-2007 - 3:22pm

This guy is bad news so the sooner you cut ties with him the better off you'll be.


I hate to say this, but it sounds like he is testing you to see if you get obsessive compulsive about him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 10:50am

ok so i figured since i am who i am. I text Larry, i sent him just wanted to say hello, wondered if you wanted to hang out, since i dont hear from you idk and i dont play games so if thats what your into im not interested.

he replys HUH??

So i text look you dont call and dont ask to meet up so i dont know what to think. So ill be at karokee tomorrow if your interested.

he text me your phone goes to voicemail

i send when now?

he text call me

So i did, he goes i dont like to text and i think its juvenial. im like ya me too since it locks up my phone . i said you text me 1st. he goes i always get vm. i said leave a message. He goes i am interested im just very busy. I didnt get home til 1130 last night and im on call. My job is 24/7. I said ok i work. he goes i know i just dont have time to text. he goes i will try and call you later when i get a break. BUT I AM interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 1:35pm

How in the world is this guy disturbed?

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 2:54pm
Some men, especially doctors, test the people in their environment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 2:54pm

I know he told you he is interested...but maybe it is

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 2:59pm
He isnt a doctor he is a repair person who travels from location to location for big corporations. I dont know why he says 1 thing and does another? I mean as soon as he thinks im jumping ship it seems he reacts. Now he is divorced and i dont know that story. I do feel badly for the way i acted yesterday and wonder if i should apologize, but i did say what i felt and wanted to end any games at the head.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 3:24pm

No where in the post does it say he's a doctor and the OP has now said he is a repairman.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

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