Not sure to stay or not

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Not sure to stay or not
2
Tue, 12-18-2007 - 4:49pm

Thank you to everyone for your help and support! I really appreciate it. I have stayed at my bf's place since September when he bought me a second dog as a friend for the one I have now. I have brought a couple suitcases full of clothing over to his house. When his friend let us know of his divorce in mid-november, my bf orginally asked if he could stay a couple of weeks to a month and I said no problem and I gave him the one key I had to the place. My bf then said on thanksgiving that his friend will split the rent with you and I said well it is only a month so whatever. A week later, my bf indicated that his friend gave him the check and I said (I though I was being generous by saying this), well I will split it with you and then my bf said, well why don't we just use it for his place/food/second closet and I was like alllllright (though I didn't think it was fair, but only a month and not wanting to make a big deal about it).


Now, my bf came home last thursday and said, I have good news, that his friend would like to continue to stay at my place until the end of my lease in July and he will continue to pay for half of it. We then got into an arguement and I said, "wait a minute, here, I don't think that is fair that he only pays half of it (this is prime property where I am renting too) and see how this is good news for me...I don't have my own place (that I did go to every morning and workout, now I have his place) anymore and he is only paying half to you, I don't see how I win here?" He said, "Of course you are winning here, if you were to surrender your place, you would have to pay three months rent, this way my friend rents it from you and you don't have to pay three months to surrender it and you break even" I said, "but you are getting the money and now I don't have my own place" He said (he is traveling for business all weekend/until tomorrow), "Just think about it until I come back"


I do love my bf and I am not ready to give up on the relationship yet, however, I don't see how he thinks this is a fair deal? Your advice would be greatly appreciated. I do like what we have, however, we do seem to think differently about money. He is definately a spender, as he makes a lot more than me, but it is like he expects me to pay for a lot in the relationship too. I can't afford to go on trips with him and he gets a little annoyed with me. I also don't have much vacation as I started a new job in september that demands a lot more hours that he gets frustrated with and says that I should quit jobs. Though he wants me to quit my job, other than sending one note (he bcc'ed me in on an email that went to the cfo of his company after a dinner, however, he sent it to my new work account email and I told him that I was upset with this-he of course appologized), he has not really done much to help me get one of the many open positions back at his company. It feels like he wants me to quit/get fired as long as I can be available to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 12-18-2007 - 9:14pm
I responded to your previous post about this guy so I wont go back into the details but it doesnt sound like the situation you are in is good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 3:32pm

I reply to your other post also. You already know what to do. If you read your post out loud, you know what you should do. I don't think you need advice on this.