we have been friends with benefits..but

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
we have been friends with benefits..but
19
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 6:37pm
we have been friends with benefits for about a month and i am just wondering, can it ever be more than that?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2007
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 7:43pm

From everything you've just said it seems like he's getting attached to you. Unless you're under 25 yrs old, this whole thing of being friends w/ benefits doesn't make sense to me though. You have sex with someone because you want them. There's definitely some feelings involved.. why not ask him and get an answer?

v

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 9:50pm
I wouldnt read into anything about his physical contact with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 10:05pm
thanx, i really can't afford to just come right out and ask him because he is my boss at work, we are the same age, it is just that he has been there longer. and when i say he is not an affectionate person i mean he is usually very stern and quite mean outside of the bedroom, not just to me but in general and he never seems to have or want a girlfriend
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 10:30pm

Friends with benefits means that you actually LIKE the person and want to spend time with them doing things besides having sex (as opposed to a booty call)--but it stops short of being a relationship with any sort of expectations or commitments beyond what the two of you agree on (for instance, FWB partners can agree to be sexually monogamous).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 11:43am
I see...you have a sticky situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2005
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 8:10pm

Eek, he is your BOSS? What do you value more, your job or your FWB arrangement with him???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 8:51pm
yes, he is my direct superior...things have went sour between us before, he tried to invite me over to have sex with me at a time when i was completely against the idea and we didn't talk after that night until we became FWB, and even then he brought it up again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 1:51am

Can you quit your job?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 10:48am
I agree, FWB can be whatever the two negotiate. I found that an important difference between FWB and BF/GF
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:46pm

But are FWB suppose to experience those "couple-like" arguments and issues?


I know with a previous FWB when things went sour I went south and in that situation, he thought of me as more the GF type when I boxed him in as a FWB guy. I've otherwise never experienced GF/BF like argument with a FWB person.

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