Once a cheater, always?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Once a cheater, always?
7
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 9:20am

Ok so some of you may have seen me on the snooping/jealousy board, but this is what it all comes down to:


My bf used to be a big man-wh0re. Cheated on all his gfs, lots of partners, wild crazy party guy. Which he has always been up front with me about. But since Ive met him, he's said... Im ready to grow up, and settle down, and I dont even want to be that person anymore as far as all the girls.


His friends all tell me that they've never seen him act the way he does with me. He tells me that he has never felt this way about any other girl before and we talk about kids, marriage, all that stuff.


He's never done anything at all to make me question anything so far (8 mos together). But I have a hard time believing that he is a whole new person all of a sudden. I know that a persons past is a persons past, and you shouldnt base your relationship on those things, but its really hard for me. Can a person really change in this way?


Ceejae

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 11:40am

<< Can a person really change in this way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 11:59am

There is a difference between being a serial cheater and being a crazy party guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 4:16pm

Those are great points. I agree, I wish no one had told me about his past. And up until then, I never even questioned a thing. But ever since then, I feel like I should have my guard up bc I think... Geez, what kind of person can he really be?? And at the same time, he has been nothing but great to me, which I know is what I should be going on.


And in regards to what Snafu2007 said on why he cheated.... The last girl he was with was a 5 yr relationship. He said he tried to break it off numerous times, and she acted like she couldnt live without him, so he stuck around out of feeling sorry for her. But at the same time, they both seemed to be miserable.


Hopefully this is a completely different ball game for both of us.


Thanks for the input! It's all very helpful!


CEEJAE


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 7:38pm

"I agree, I wish no one had told me about his past. And up until then, I never even questioned a thing. But ever since then, I feel like I should have my guard up bc I think... Geez, what kind of person can he really be?? "


So, he did not initiate the discussion about his past?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 3:35pm

It was his best friends wife that

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 6:33pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 11:52am
It's great that he's acting differently with you and being honest but obviously there is reason
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