How many dates before sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2008
How many dates before sex?
9
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 6:29pm

Hi everyone,


I am 30year old who just recenetly found her self back in dating world.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 6:44pm

That's such an individual decision, you have to find what works for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 8:52pm
I wait until I am exclusive with a guy (and we verbally agreed).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 9:47pm
Things have become so sex focused when it comes to dating, a lot of people think there is something wrong if you've been dating awhile with no sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 2:30am
I'd advice to wait at least until you're BOTH exclusive. No matter how sexual you are, safety comes first these days. Exclusivity doesn't come easy when online dating, at least that's my experience. Many guys look for casual relationships with many women at once time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 11:18am

All of the posters bring up valid points such as discussing exclusivity and monogamy. These are not the same thing as Sheri has pointed out in the past - exclusivity is dating and monogamy is sexually related.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2006
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 2:26pm
I don't think that there is any sort of formula for when it is and is not okay to have sex with someone you're dating. I've slept with someone after the second date, but I've also made someone wait months before we had sex. It happens when it feels right. My first main concern is that they're clean (which I've never had a problem with) and after that what happens happens. I also make sure that they're not currently sleeping with someone else. If they pass those two tests and if it feels right (which could take only two dates or quite a few months) than I go for it! I've never been one to say that I'll only sleep with someone after I've been dating them for X amount of time. I don't think that there is a specific timeline one must follow to determine whether or not it's okay to have sex - trust your instinct!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 3:00pm

The issue I've had with that approach is, how do you have any idea of their honesty after only 2 dates?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 9:10pm

I SO agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 12:58pm
There's no right or wrong answer as long as you are honet with each other and practice safe sex. But there's also no fire... Waiting can stoke the flames!
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