I'm discovering what my problem is...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
I'm discovering what my problem is...
20
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 7:47pm

I have a hard time dating or finding people who are interested in me or I interested in them.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 8:16pm

Oh, I've struggled with the same problem of being attracted to men who are unavailable on some level--although usually with me it manifests itself in getting involved with men who are not looking for the same thing I am and/or who have red flags, and trying to convince myself that I can be ok with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 8:48pm

Hi Reg.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 9:28pm

I'm seriously considering it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 8:59am

Like Sheri - I too have had these issues and can sometimes find myself entertaining ideas with the wrong men. I grew up in an alcoholic home - so 'unavailable' was what I asociated with 'strong male figure' - even my Grandfather was absent.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 6:13pm

Thank you Toni for sharing this with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 6:52pm

That was an excellent post toni.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 10:28pm
<

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 11:08pm

not being a psychologist, I can only answer what is true to me/


<<1) dont you also feel that one's lifestyle does preclude a person to possibly meet men who are not a good fit?

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 11:15pm
It's good that you see the hypocritical behaviors in your dealings with men.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 11:43pm

I dont necessarily feel that girls or women hang out with people who are always like them...maybe it is the insecurity inside of them...but sometimes people want to hang out with the fun people, the cool people, the people who go where the action is...only to find out later that they dont care about the people who they hang with.


"And I know I am not the only person who feels this way - that there are people that can be trusted with the darkest parts of us."-----> I havent met anyone who I can trust with the darkest parts of me, so you are very lucky.


"Most people don't know that they don't know something.

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