This is so frustrating...
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| Sat, 01-19-2008 - 9:39am |
Hi all-
I met a guy in December, and I need some advise!
Last year I dated a few guys I wasn't really interested in (dating just for the sake of it), and then in December I met someone who I'm truly interested in, and who I think is worth it. We've gone out about 4-5 times and it's been great- we seem to have a great connection, many things in common, can talk for hours, etc. Normally when we go out to dinner I end up coming back home at 2 AM- seriously, we can talk forever. Things have been moving really slowly, which is something new to me; I've had only one serious relationship before, and it started very very quickly. I'm not saying starting slow is bad, I'm just saying I don't know what to expect, I have to get used to this. With this guy, we didn't kiss on the first date- he kissed me on the second date, and after that we've both been taking the initiative to do the kissing, and we both enjoy it (the chemistry is definitely there). Last date we had was last Saturday, and as usual it went great. He called me on Tuesday and asked me out for Wednesday but I wasn't able to go. Thursday our friends had an event at a pub- he told me he wasn't going, but knew I was going to go. Surprisingly, he showed up in the middle of the event, which was nice, and decided to make plans for this Saturday (today). I was talking to a friend of his the other day, and she told me he's definitely interested in me. She said he's definitely not a player (I never believed he was), that he's looking for something serious. She also told me he's really traditional and conservative (I'm more on the conservative side too). I'm 28, he's 34, and I think we're both beyond the playing games stage.
The problem? When we met he told me he had just had a really bad influenza or something that had left him quite weak and was slowly recovering. The day of our second date, he called to cancel because he had a bad fever. Obviously I thought he was blowing me off- but he called me an hour later to reschedule after we were both back from the holidays, which was nice. Anyways, for today's plan, he emailed me yesterday morning with his suggestion of what to do- and then he called last night saying that once again he had a fever and wasn't feeling too well. He said he didn't want to play the game of keeping me waiting, so he'd rather cancel tonight in case I wanted to do other plans. We decided that if he feels better today, he'll call me and perhaps do something low key.
It's really frustrating- I really want to believe him (he hasn't given me a reason not to), but things are going slowly already... and I guess I'm disappointed since I really like him and spending time with him. I know I need to get over this, but I hate the uncertainty, not knowing what's going on or what are his intentions... I guess all my insecurities keep on driving me nuts. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt? Sorry for the long post.. I just needed to rant a bit.

Yes, you should give him the benefit of the doubt.