What's a girl to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
What's a girl to do?
6
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 9:29pm
I really need some advice here. I am a 29 year old career oriented female. I do not have children nor do I want children. I have recently started dating this guy whom has a 15 month old. He did not marry the girl because she started talking to another guy etc. The thing is we get along so well, have the same interest, same outlook on life, great chemistry etc. Its just that I am in school and work 2 jobs and when I am off I like to go and do things. Right now he has his baby 3 nights and week and since we have been dating he never invites me over when he has her. But when shes not there and he's lonely he wants to go out constantly. He calls me when she goes to sleep. I just have this horrible feeling. I do not like being tied down with someone elses
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 11:47pm

I'm sure there are other guys out there with whom you could enjoy long talks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 2:27pm
yes you should discuss things with him before getting further involved. Be open and honest that you don't really see children as part of your life and that you are pretty sure that won't change (only if its true - not wanting to have children is different than wanting to be around them in other ways) In addition, his child is very small - so should things progress - you'd be in a parenting role that you aren't really willing to be in.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 5:18pm

i agree with toni 100%

he and his kid is a package deal, the kid comes before you and as wonderful as i'm sure you are, he cannot choose you over it (he/she?). if you don't see yourself with a kid any time soon, and are against the idea of being tied down to someone else's then you're just going to have to chalk this up to bad luck. regardless you need to talk to him and express your concerns.

best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 4:25pm
It's not selfish to know what you want.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 4:14pm
I agree - a child is major, lasting responsibiity and always top priority
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 6:27pm
Yes, honesty is the ONLY policy in this situation. Good luck
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