I asked if he needed space, he said yes...we talked for a very long time and threw everything out in the open...had a really good talk and I'm going to give him a few days to gather his thoughts and everything's going to be good again.
I kinda feel differently than the other posters here. I believe men are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. I also believe that men DO NOT know how to end relationships. I get the sense that he is using his unfortunate circumstances as an excuse to avoid you. When a man really likes/loves you he will WELCOME your attention and caring. This man is avoiding any overtures you've attempted. Believe me when I say "HE KNOWS" your there for him. He knows that you would come right over if he needed a hug. He knows you will answer the phone if he needs to talk. And yet he is not asking for anything from you.
I always try to look at it from the perspective of what I want. If I was dating someone for 2 months and I had all these terrible things happen to me, WHAT WOULD I WANT. Well if I liked the guy I would want him to call and check in on me. I would want him to surprise me at my home with take out food. I would want a foot rub and a good listener. I would want hugging and holding.
I WOULD NOT avoid his calls. I would not send him away if he showed up on my door. I would give him my email, work phone and other forms of contact.
If I didn't like him and I felt like I was not only having terrible things in my life but I also needed to end a relationship I would avoid his calls. I would fade from his life. I would be to busy to go any where with him. I would use my family and work as excuses. I would not answer his call when I saw his number. I would answer occasionally but end the conversation short.
Is this what you want in a man? A man that can't seem to share with you? Can't seem to include you? The best predictor of your future is your past. So if anything ever happened in your life how would he react? Would he be there for you?
My advice is to fade from him. Stop calling, emailing and showing up at his door b/c he hasn't invited you or asked you to. Men like the chase. Even when the chips are down. Believe me knows your there for him. And maybe just maybe if you give him some breathing room he will come around. But, I feel this ship has sail. I'm truly sorry to say. Don't want to be the bearer of bad news but don't want you to be humiliated either by a man who doesn't know how to end the relationship. Be strong and proud of yourself. Remember you are such a good person that you were/are willing to help a friend in need.
"I always try to look at it from the perspective of what I want. If I was dating someone for 2 months and I had all these terrible things happen to me, WHAT WOULD I WANT. Well if I liked the guy I would want him to call and check in on me. I would want him to surprise me at my home with take out food. I would want a foot rub and a good listener. I would want hugging and holding.
I WOULD NOT avoid his calls. I would not send him away if he showed up on my door. I would give him my email, work phone and other forms of contact."
I don't like being negative. I'm all for LOVE. I'm a true believer of LOVE.
But, I don't want to see anyone waste one minute of their only life on someone who doesn't absolutely love and adore them. I think women in general underestimate men. We tend to think they are not wise. I also feel that when someone is in the midst of it all that they can't step out of the box and see reality. I know this has happened to me. In my brain I know something is amiss and not kosher but in my heart I try to fit the square peg into the round hole b/c I want so badly to be with that person.
When a girl starts with "He did" "He said" "He hasn't" I immediate think "Wait. Who cares about he, him. What does she think, want, need?" Apparently he/him is not meeting her needs b/c she is venting and looking for an answer/solution. Right off she is not getting something. Women including me are so easily mislead. I truly believe that men can NOT break up with women properly. I don't know if you like Sex and the City but in one episode Burger dumps Carrie with a post it note. LOL
You know we've heard stories about guys who will pretend to have died just to get out of a relationship. We know that we just want a simple exit conversation like "Hey, sorry but this is just not working out for me." But I have to say I have heard of a guy doing that yet for me or any of my friends. LOL
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All of that in just a few weeks?
I think it's pretty common for men to withdraw when they are going through a tough time.
An update -
I asked if he needed space, he said yes...we talked for a very long time and threw everything out in the open...had a really good talk and I'm going to give him a few days to gather his thoughts and everything's going to be good again.
Why do you say you are dumb?
I kinda feel differently than the other posters here. I believe men are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. I also believe that men DO NOT know how to end relationships. I get the sense that he is using his unfortunate circumstances as an excuse to avoid you. When a man really likes/loves you he will WELCOME your attention and caring. This man is avoiding any overtures you've attempted. Believe me when I say "HE KNOWS" your there for him. He knows that you would come right over if he needed a hug. He knows you will answer the phone if he needs to talk. And yet he is not asking for anything from you.
I always try to look at it from the perspective of what I want. If I was dating someone for 2 months and I had all these terrible things happen to me, WHAT WOULD I WANT. Well if I liked the guy I would want him to call and check in on me. I would want him to surprise me at my home with take out food. I would want a foot rub and a good listener. I would want hugging and holding.
I WOULD NOT avoid his calls. I would not send him away if he showed up on my door. I would give him my email, work phone and other forms of contact.
If I didn't like him and I felt like I was not only having terrible things in my life but I also needed to end a relationship I would avoid his calls. I would fade from his life. I would be to busy to go any where with him. I would use my family and work as excuses. I would not answer his call when I saw his number. I would answer occasionally but end the conversation short.
Is this what you want in a man? A man that can't seem to share with you? Can't seem to include you? The best predictor of your future is your past. So if anything ever happened in your life how would he react? Would he be there for you?
My advice is to fade from him. Stop calling, emailing and showing up at his door b/c he hasn't invited you or asked you to. Men like the chase. Even when the chips are down. Believe me knows your there for him. And maybe just maybe if you give him some breathing room he will come around. But, I feel this ship has sail. I'm truly sorry to say. Don't want to be the bearer of bad news but don't want you to be humiliated either by a man who doesn't know how to end the relationship. Be strong and proud of yourself. Remember you are such a good person that you were/are willing to help a friend in need.
"I always try to look at it from the perspective of what I want. If I was dating someone for 2 months and I had all these terrible things happen to me, WHAT WOULD I WANT. Well if I liked the guy I would want him to call and check in on me. I would want him to surprise me at my home with take out food. I would want a foot rub and a good listener. I would want hugging and holding.
I WOULD NOT avoid his calls. I would not send him away if he showed up on my door. I would give him my email, work phone and other forms of contact."
All really good points.
I don't like being negative. I'm all for LOVE. I'm a true believer of LOVE.
But, I don't want to see anyone waste one minute of their only life on someone who doesn't absolutely love and adore them. I think women in general underestimate men. We tend to think they are not wise. I also feel that when someone is in the midst of it all that they can't step out of the box and see reality. I know this has happened to me. In my brain I know something is amiss and not kosher but in my heart I try to fit the square peg into the round hole b/c I want so badly to be with that person.
When a girl starts with "He did" "He said" "He hasn't" I immediate think "Wait. Who cares about he, him. What does she think, want, need?" Apparently he/him is not meeting her needs b/c she is venting and looking for an answer/solution. Right off she is not getting something. Women including me are so easily mislead. I truly believe that men can NOT break up with women properly. I don't know if you like Sex and the City but in one episode Burger dumps Carrie with a post it note. LOL
You know we've heard stories about guys who will pretend to have died just to get out of a relationship. We know that we just want a simple exit conversation like "Hey, sorry but this is just not working out for me." But I have to say I have heard of a guy doing that yet for me or any of my friends. LOL
Have a good one!!!
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