emotinally unavailable man is playing me

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
emotinally unavailable man is playing me
9
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 10:42am

I am in a yo yo relationship

We have been together just over a

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 11:31am

NO, you don't "play him at his own game".

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 1:15pm

You are in quite a predicament.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 6:01pm

Hi Gina,


 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 10:03pm

Rather than stooping to playing games, why not try something different?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 3:58am

Hi there


You are right about when I have tried to move away he has been very sweet...and fearful of losing me. late last year this happened. One day e was in such a mod he just snapped and walked out of my apartment - he woke up like this...the next day he came over and said 'look i am confused - i dont know what i want' I want to spend time with you but time alone to see how i feel....


I was so strong here..i responded 'I cant be with a man that doesn't know what he wants - especially at your age' (he's in his late 30's) If i accept your proposition then it means i dont love myself - so you leave me no choice but to break up...The next day the sms started he asked to see me...he said to give him time etc etc..


After we settled..again... that's when he started to dig at my self esteem in a very manipulative way...firstly about my body (that i am too skinny) then about my freckles - that i needed laser and the worst about my job - i.e you're in a managment position you should be able to handle this better bla bla...


He left me alone on N.Y eve saying the last minute that he didn't like what i had organised (he kept telling me he didnt know what he wanted to do) and I went out without him..


Now he is implicitly blaming the relationship breakdown on me...that i am the nag...that i am too pushy too demanding too this too that...


I guess i will just have to make myself scarce....


I tend to agree with you that this man wont change ...he will just fine another victim for his poison


However for some reason i feel altruistic...this man needs help and

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 9:13am

<>


You can't. People only learn what they are willing to open their hearts and minds to.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 2:43pm

Some of the best advice given to me about men is this:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 11:11pm
omg i'm going through the exact same thing right now and i put up with it for like a week and im already over it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 8:01pm

BIG RED FLAG!!!!


MOVE ALONG SISTER!