Relationship Phobia
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| Sun, 02-17-2008 - 6:37am |
I have a bit of a dilema at the moment and someone elses opinion as I have never had to deal with this before. I am in my early 20's and have never been in a relationship - although I have had plenty offers but none I have felt attracted to.
There is a guy at work whom I get on really well with and he is a great friend and we always have a great laugh at work. He asked me out twice but I do not feel attracted to him in that way. I told him that I was not looking for anything at the mo and that I preferred him as a friend. Since then I get regular texts asking how I ma and what I've been up to - I feel very smothered. As he is 7 years older than me he also makes comments that I would expect my parents to say to me such as 'have a good nights sleep,' 'drive carefully,' and he also tells me what to use medicine wise when I'm not well!
I thought that I had made it clear about being friends but then on Valentines Day he sent me 12 roses and a box of heart shaped chocs with a lovely message inside. I did wonder to start with if we could maybe have something more together but inside me I am saying 'no' as it feels wrong! Should I listen to this voice?

I would say phobic as normally when someone tries to get close I push them away as I don't know what else to do. I feel out of my comfort zone and I hate feeling that way! Unfortunately, the only men that make a move are those that I don't find attractive and those who I do don't!
It is reassuring to hear
Hi Copy2
Welcome to the board!
You have to take risks if you want to be with someone.
"It is reassuring to hear
Z
Hi z-money
Thank you for your reassuring words. It is interesting what you mentioned about my dad as I have never considered that before. My dad actually works offshore and so was away for either 3 or 2 weeks and then home for 2 or 3. There was a short period of time whereby he worked in America and was a way for a month and then home for a month. Maybe I have become much closer to my mum as a result but I have a fantastic relationship with my dad and we are so similar! Do you think this could be a factor in my feelings at present?
I actually suffered with depression for 2 years and have only just finished my counselling, which really helped me overcome many aspects of my life. I feel that I now back on track and would really like to change my feelings but I don't know how! You mentioned other sources in your reply... what were these?
Thank you
Z