I need help cooping
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| Tue, 02-19-2008 - 7:03pm |
Hi! SO....I found lubricant on the ground by the computer desk and joking around asked my boyfriend, "Were you masturbating to something you found on the computer?" He laughed and I realized he did.
I'm not upset by the fact that he was masturbating, I know it's normal and healthy, and that there's no way, or reason a guy should stop. I don't live with him, (we'll be moving in together later in summer), but we have been together for a long time. WE don't get to have sex as often as we both would like.
I'm honestly most weirded out by the fact that he was probably looking at another girl. I confronted him and told him the issue made me feel a little uneasy, but now I can't get it out of my mind.
I'm a sexual person but I have had some problems with sex itself. I was

What did he say when you confronted him? Was he looking at a woman or at people having sex?
I'm of the philosphy that the less you know about things like this...who he fantasizes about, asking questions about his sexual past, partners, acts....the better off you are.
I know you felt the need to confront him about it because it hurt you, but now you have a thought you cant get out of your head.
Hi lilred_one
Welcome to the board!!
I understand how you feel.
Thanks ladies, for at least trying to help me.
When I confronted him, I was crying and I told him how it made me feel. I, frankly, like you said Snafu, would rather not know what he was looking at. I did however tell him that a video would make me a lot more uncomfortable than a photo; even more so if it were 2 girls or a man and a woman, but I don’t think his computer is fast enough to even partially download a video. I didn’t figure he needed visual stimulation. I know he wasn’t looking at a petite redhead with freckles like me. The porn-types just gross me out.
I don’t know too much about his sexual past because I choose not to. Knowing that kind of stuff makes me feel like how I’m feeling now.
Anyway, he told me he would never do it again, but I told him that was not what I was asking. I know there is no way he could stop and no reason he should. He told me I’m the only one he ever wants to have sex with, but I just feel really bad. I mentioned how it would feel if it was reversed, but I don’t think he quite got it. I think because I don’t masturbate, he just thinks it’s impossible so why even think about that.
I just told him, I’m not sure what to do. I told him I’m having a really hard time trying to forget. I have been really happy because he is what makes me sane. I haven’t had to go therapy for over a year, but I just feel so bad about this that I think I might have to go back. I hate going to therapy because I feel like there is something wrong with me though.
I don’t know, I just feel like I’ve been cheated on.
Peace and above all, Love,
"Be the change you
Since you dont know for sure what he was looking at, I'd try to move on from there. You have already told him how you feel about it and I'm sure he will do what it takes to make you happy.
It sounds like you need a stiff ego boost more than anything else - does he ever compliment you?
Gal Blondie
Gal Blondie
Peace and above all, Love,
"Be the change you
Hey Lil Red,
Gal Blondie
Wandering minds do get everyone into trouble at times, dont they? hehehe
Hey, that's great that he does compliment you. I'm sure you do feel lucky about that if you have ever