She's a monster
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She's a monster
| Tue, 09-19-2006 - 1:44pm |
The title Monster-in-law fits this MIL I have. She's a step-MIL. She's been in the family for 3 years and is driving me up the wall. I can't handle her anymore. She is trying in every way to make me the bad guy. Sometimes ignoring it is not helping. She's a devil. Currently my in-laws are living with me. FIL has a hearing problem and does not want to move out because he knows she is a devil. He had told family members this already during a previous conflict we had. MIL is trying with everything to annoy me, so I could become the bad guy. She wants to move out, but does not want to look as if she did it on her own. She trys to pull every string I have and it makes me frustrated. She slams doors, anything that belongs to me, my children, or husband is thrown against the walls or onto counters, and she kicks our belongings if they're in her way or she will use that walk way just to do it while there's plenty of room to walk around it. She also takes my pots, pans, and bowls and throws them outside or in the garage. Currently there is a two items outside. She is greedy, hides food, sodas, anything that is hers. She is afraid that we will use her items. One experiment I did was take out a package of her meat to see what she would do. There were a total of three large pieces of meat; I had cooked one piece and put the two back in the refrigerator. After returning from work she had exchanged both pieces of meat to that she did not want to eat. Another thing, we live out on the outskirts of the city limits and they raise chickens. She is a thief. I cook rice before we leave the house for work. This number is at four in he rice cooker. She steals my rice to feed her chickens. I started at four inches in my rice cooker and when I come home I have one inch left to eat. It's so annoying.

She sounds super annoying!
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Personally, I wouldn't worry about looking like you want her out. Its an honest feeling and considering your reasons (I wouldn't bring up the rice thing, that's reaching) I don't think anyone has much ground to argue with you.
It sounds like she's feeling very frustrated with her circumstances and is taking it out on your family. She may not even realise how much of a total bitch she's being. Her actions aren't right, but they are what hey are. She's older and essentially having to mooch off of you, its pretty demeaning. She's living in another woman's domain and doesn't have one of her own. Again, I'm not saying she's right in her actions. Approach your MIL, be very calm when you deal with her. If she gets excited, tell her you'll talk when she's calm. Tell her you've noticed her frustration and want to help. Ask her if she really wants to stay there. Tell her you understand how frustrated she must be and you would like to help her find an answer. Ask her what she would like to do. (It may be that her husband hasn't considered what she wants) If she'd like to find a new place for her and her husband so she can have her privacy, then you would like to help her. If she'd like to work something out there until she can find a new place then you'd like to help her there too, but things can't go on as chaotically as they have been.
You're positon is similar in alot of ways in that your privacy, your space has been rudely interrupted, so it should be easy to empathise. She may be feeling very close to what you're feeling.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she's just an unlikable bitch, but I find it easier to enter the harsher actions once I've exausted the more "benefit of the doubt" ones.
Good luck!
Edited 9/20/2006 12:15 pm ET by patience_is_a_virtue