Signs pt.3-just pure mean (last one) =)
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| Fri, 09-22-2006 - 1:27pm |
I'm not married yet, but I have a feeling that I will be in the club soon. And it's making my boyfriend's mother panick.
Here's the story:
We were going shopping. By the time we reached started shopping, I was running to the restroom with an upset stomach. But I wasn't vomiting...if you know what I mean. During my fifth trip to the restroom, he told him mom that we'd have to cut the shopping trip short because I wasn't feeling well.
When I caught up with them in the store, a happy look came over her face. "Oh sweetheart, you're not feeling well?" She kept looking down at my tummy. She started acting really wierd, and made a couple other strange comments too...basically she thought she was going to be a grandma.
Here's the SAD/EVIL part of the story:
We went to dinner. A baby in the booth next to us was hollering and screaming. She whispered a question to her son...something like are you ready for that (by the way..we're 27)? Silly random question, huh? He said "no." I acted like I wasn't paying attention. So she turns to me and says... "did you hear that?" I said "no". Then she says "He's not ready for all of that (referring to the crying baby)."
The funny thing is, when she made this statement, she believed that I was expecting! What a mean thing to say.
AND, the next day at dinner...I had to follow up on the issue. I brought up the topic of lactose intolerance, and told her husband how I'd gotten sick the evening before after having too many lattes. He gave HER a look, like ...."did you hear that?"
This may seem like a bit of a stretch. But considering her track record, I believe that it was an intentional statement.

Thank you for the posting. She comes to our city to visit most of the time. She visits quite often. And the couple of times he visited her this year, I went along too. But I'm going to stop making a habit of that.
He has started telling her "no" more often. And she doesn't like that. She tells him that he is starting to be a mean person, which really hurt him a lot. But slowly but surely, he is showing me that he is on my team. He has made a lot of progress this past year. But it seems like it only makes her act even worse. She has become so much more direct lately.
He loves his mom a lot. She raised him as a single parent. And I think he feels indebted to her for that. So I'm always really nice to her.
But the good thing is, he has said "no" to her. And he really goes out of his way to made sure that I'm comfortable and taken care of when she makes unreasonable requests. The last time we went to visit her, we were attending a wedding. Our plane arrived very late and everyone went to bed after midnight. She wanted my boyfriend and I to attend a funeral with her the next morning (and leave at 6am). I didn't really respond. Then she asked him to just go with her. I really felt awkward about it. She woke him up early that morning to leave, but he ended up actually telling her that he couldn't go, that he didn't want to just leave me. I was surprised that he told her no in that case. So he's making more and more progress, to her dismay. It only upsets her more. Since I've known him, he's always agreed to all her requests no matter how unreasonable they were.
mmmkay. Progress is good. She will become more mean as he stands up to her, she's trying to regain her control over him. If he continues to stand up to her than that sounds good to me. She's very covert in her interactions with you. I'd say covertly abusive. she assumes an awful lot. If I were you I'd try calling her on her assumptions even though she's being sly about them. I'd say, "Why are you so happy I'm not well?" in the store. Make her explain what you already know she's thinking. She's assuming things but not overtly expressing her assumptions so that she can deny them if cornered.
I'm positive what she did in the sushi bar was mean and vindictive now that you gave more info about her. I think you could've said something to her like "Why did you do that to me? Now I don't trust you." If she says she was just joking you can say "Well, I hope it was worth it to you." Sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like your man is on the right track though!
cbc
I'm lactose intol too~~and according to my MIL it's all in my head. She makes us come up to her condo once a month to do what I call the "royal command dinners" and she will put dairy in stuff and not say a word to either dh or I and I end up sick in the middle of dinner and she just can't understand why I'm leaving the table & how rude that is. She went as far as ordering a our wedding cake from a bakery that put nothing but lots of dairy in our wedding cake (it turned out to be awful cake, I couldn't give it away~~I ended up throwing over half of it out) I got to eat only one bite of it.
Sam