so stressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2003
so stressed
5
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 7:17pm
I'm not really sure where to begin. My FIL has been here for two and a half weeks. This week he and my DH are in NC fishing. I'm 7 weeks from my due date. I started having contractions yesterday and was seen by my dr. today. My DH is leaving the trip early to come home because he wants to be here for me and for the baby. I didn't even have to ask once he knew what was going on he said he was packing up and coming home. About 20 minutes later my MIL called and gave me attitude that I'm purposely ruining the annual fishing trip by "claiming" to be in labor. She said "you better have this baby....you shouldn't be ruining their trip with false alarms".She told me that my DH promised his father he would always go on this trip when my FIL had his first heart attack 20 years ago and who am I to ruin it. It is bad enough that my FIL has been here and made himself very at home and plans on being here another week after they get back but to give me a guilt trip because of having contractions is just too much. I don't need the added stress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: joykg
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 8:23pm
You can say that again!!! Your MIL is a piece of work. But if you don't mind even more advice from pushy people (me), you'll push her whole phone call out of your head and go do something really wonderful and relaxing for yourself. Don't give her bad behavior the dignity of another second's thought.
Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: joykg
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 8:26am

Tell your husband what his jerk mother said to you. Gee how nice that a GROWN man like FIL comes before your unborn child.

Personally, I would have told her, "WHO am I? Oh, I am only his wife and the mother of his unborn child. How DARE you!" And then, I would have hung up.

Don't take this crap. And certainly don't feel guilty. Your FIL, IMO, is the inconsiderate one, and your DH has a hand in it too. I would not have liked my husand going off and leaving me in the third trimester. Too many things can happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: joykg
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 11:42am

Hey-here is just my 2 cents---i would be so enraged if my MIL talked to me like that-i would have hung up in her face---she has no right to talk to you like that, especially when you are pregnant----and, oh my god, a wife wanting her husband there so she can have her baby, what a crime! it seems like your MIL is selfish, self centered, and manipulative--i would ignore her and not let her over once you have the baby----get some rest and have some time to yourself and then when YOU are ready for her invite her over, when it is a good time for you, not her just dropping by unexpectedly----it is your life, your baby, your husband, and your house----put the woman in her place! Good Luck!

P.S.-----even if your husband is her son, i was under the impression that when a man marries a woman, that woman, his wife, and any kids they may have become top priority, not his controlling mother! I am having this same problem right now, only we are engaged, and his mother is an absolute monster! Monster in law does not even begin to cover her! Good luck with this and enjoy your new baby!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
In reply to: joykg
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 8:09pm

Obviously your DH knows where he needs to be and is coming home immediately. Good for him!!! He also needs to tell FIL that he has stayed in your home long enough and he needs to have a stern talk with his mother about how she talked to you. This is a time that the two of you need to be along together as you anticipate the birth of your child. You don't need this kind of stress.

Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
In reply to: joykg
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 10:20am
That is absolutely absurd!! Im so sorry you had to deal with that, and pregnant too?!?! Did your husband stick up for you? Did you have the baby?