in laws living with you
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in laws living with you
| Fri, 10-27-2006 - 2:29pm |
hello, all! i just recently went through a situation that i regret...not the whole thing, but i wish i would have ended it sooner...2 years ago, i had my sister in law, her fiancee (who is now her husband) and teenage son move in with me. my mother in law had just died and i thought i was doing them a favor. they moved in-it was all "we know you guys are having financial difficulties, but we can help you...we'll help babysit for you for free...we'll help you by cooking and cleaning...itll be great..." until the bills started coming in and my sister in law got pregnant and all that went out the window. our phone got turned off within 3 monthes of them living here because my nephew made some calls to "friends" he had in another state(he claims his other friends made the calls, but hes a pathalogical liar)...my sister in law was pregnant and didnt want to look for a job since she was getting welfare...she did bring food into the house with her food stamps, but her cash assistence was her money and when we would bring up her helping us, she would turn into a person with a very nasty attitude about it...they were using our car, and of course all the utilities...my sil is a very lazy person-and there were times when i went to work wondering if she was awake and watching my kids or not(im talking 11 or 12 in the afternoon, not realkly early)...she did not control her son at all-he had a very hard time dealing with my mils death and she would not seek help for him-cuz he said he didnt want to go...he used to be horrible about getting up for school-he had to repeat 6th grade because he missed so many days...he used to have this bad attitude, smoked, got caught drinking-he'll be 14 in december...my sister in law had her baby and didnt want to spend the time disciplining him or anything-she just stick a pacifier in his mouth cuz it was easier than trying to figure out what was wrong...when he was 7 monthes old, she started giving him table food and expected him to know how to feed himself...if anyone tried to give her advice on how to handle him or her other son, shes ignore them...her hubby was honestly trying-he held a steady job for 2 years and would try to help us with the bills, he would take the baby even when he was tired, he tried to get on her son to shape up-hes a decent guy, but he also let her call most of the shots cuz she can get nasty if she disagrees with you...it put a horrible strain on our marriage-and so many people said why cant you kick them out-because its his family and his mother raised them to be good to family cuz family will always be there for you-and she was a firm believer in you cant put family in the street...and that was my biggest problem-i couldnt see me kicking out a baby and a teenager because of the actions of their parents...the boys ere the only reason i didnt do it-the only reason i couldnt find it in my heart to kick them out...they moved out 3 weeks ago-they moved into a house my bils aunt used to own until she passed away 6 monthes ago and since she had no kids, her sister got the house(my bils mom)...shes renting them the house very cheaply. i havent heard from them in almost 2 weeks-im still worried that theyre going to call crying and say they need to come back, but my hubby and i agreed that we cant take it again-our marriage would be gone...plus we cant do that to our kids-we turned their old room into a playroom which my kids love and i cant see totally upheaving their lives-again. (theyre 6 and 2 1/2) i guess the advice i have is that i can understand helping family, but theres got to be a point. if it starts having a severe impact on your family, its time to end the drama. if that means cutting toxic people out for stress reducing, then so be it. there has to be a point...i reached my breaking point about 6 weeks ago when me and my hubby had this huge blow out over money and how we had none, but again my sister in law had plenty...she was screwing us over on bills again-and her hubby was already in the other state working so he wasnt there to help us...i think if they were still living here and werent planning to leave, we would have had trouble...but they were already planning the move which happened 2 weeks after that. its been so nice and quiet-and CLEAN around here since (my sister in law wasnt the greatest housekeeper either) good luck to you guys struggling out there with bad inlaws-i have learned my lesson-i will NEVER have anyone move in here again-unless its something totally beyond my control...(thanks for listening too-i had to get that out!!)
joanne
maman2goons@aol.com
joanne
maman2goons@aol.com
