HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
HELP
4
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 6:35pm
I dont know what to do. I have been married for over 4 years now, and that woman(mother-in-law ocourse) wont let us be. She comes up with everything under the sun to make her son she everything her way. She never like me and now because of her my husband may want the BIG D. He saying family should get along but he doesnt see its her making this a sitution worst and i am so confuse on what to do!! HELP
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: yazmine077
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 8:33am

I blame the demise of my first marriage largely on my former MIL, so I think your fears are well founded. I think you need to sit down and calmly tell your husband how you feel. The reality you have to face is that MIL will never, despite any efforts, change. Your husband, if he has the inclination, and he may not, would have to make the change and you, to aid the process would have to be underrstanding, supportive, and patient.

The question I had to ask myself after 10 years of MIL crap was, "Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life?" Seeing no effort on my ex-husband's part, the answer was a resounding no.

You have the right to live your life free of domination. If he's willing to divorce you because his mother can't let go, its possible that divorce is actually the best thing for you. If he's willing to work hard at breaking the ties in favor of the person who will be there with him until the end of his life, then he's a keeper. The work for you will come in allowing him the opportunity to try.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
In reply to: yazmine077
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 2:53pm

"He saying family should get along "

And he is right. UNfortunately, he doesn't see that YOU are his family now, and everybody else is outsiders and extended family.

There is an analogy for you. You decided you wanted a pet. A cute furry curl-in-your-lap kitty. So you went out and got yourself an aligator. Now, you're upset that it's not furry purring in your lap. KWIM? You wanted a man, married a mama's boy, and now are upset that he isn't being your man. Let him go if he threatens divorce. He's not your man, he never will be, because he CHOOSES to be her boy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: yazmine077
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 8:23pm
If he is considering divorce because of what Mommy wants then he is no man. I would tell him that you want your family to get along, but really you mean that you want me to allow your mother to run my life. If he wants a divorce, as hard as it is, let him go. You don't need someone who will put his Mommmy before you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
In reply to: yazmine077
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 9:54pm
Thank you so much for that!! Now he really dont think that he want to be with me he said that sometime he thinks that there is someone else out there better for him and i dont know why but i still dont want to lose him is that stupid or what. I need strenth and i just dont have it