In Laws comments about my age!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2006
In Laws comments about my age!
2
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 10:50am
I am 20, DH is 23 we have been married for 6 months now. My in laws make comments baout my age alot and it is very annoying! I cant begin to tell you how many holiday dinner's or weddings we have gone to where my age has been mentioned. For exaple at holiday dinner's one of my in laws will be pouring wine and will say in a teasing way you can't have any your not of age... Hello did I even say I wanted any!! We had a few wedding this summer and where champane was poured for guest at the tables and again IL make same comment and laugh. DH usually tells them to be quiet. FIL just made another comment to me today that in canada im legal (since the drinking age is 18) I just ignored him. My MIL even made a comment before the wedding about our champane toast and what do they do if the bride isnt 21! Im like hello it is my wedding I think I can have a few sips of champane! It is starting to get old and annoying, I know they think its "funny" since they joke but I dont. I am not a drinker and in when I do turn 21 I will not be either. IL like to drink much more than my family does and lucky my DH isnt that way either he will have a few casual drinks here in there and there have been comments made about him not drinking because of me in the past too we were at a daytime wedding DH ordered a sprite and his friend and his brother made a comment "oh are you not drinking cuz she cant" DH said no I dont like to drink at 1 in the afternoon sorry and walked away! We dont say anything to them about them drinking so why do they feel the need to say anything to us about not and why do these people keep having to bring up my age!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 12:28pm

Have you ever kindly said to your IL's "I know you are joking, but when you constantly comment about my age it really hurts my feelings like you are making fun of me over something I have no control over."? Every instance you've mentioned doesn't sound malicious and intentionally said to hurt you, though hurt you it has. Some people just don't realize their jokes aren't funny.

"My MIL even made a comment before the wedding about our champane toast and what do they do if the bride isnt 21! Im like hello it is my wedding I think I can have a few sips of champane!"

You'd think, but you'd be wrong. Bride or not, if you're underage it's still illegal and in my Wedding planner career before having my kiddos I have seen the alcohol vendor get in trouble for serving alcohol to minors when the minors were the happy couple. I have SEEN it happen. And in my training I have read one case that sticks in my head where the 18yr old groom got an MIP for drinking champaign at his wedding, and his 23yr old bride got, I don't remember the exact charges but it was something like 'contributing to the dilinquency of a minor'. Not a fun way to spend your wedding night/honeymoon.

Anyways, sorry to ramble off like that, back to your IL's. They sound annoying, not dangerous and/or evil. Annoying is tollerated out of loving obligation. So talk to them, not accusitory, about how it hurts you that they seem to pick on you for your age.




Edited 11/8/2006 12:30 pm ET by dansfoxywife

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 2:35pm

I'm curious if that is only the case when a vendor is involved? I know here in Canada (where the age varies from province to province), it is okay for parents to allow their teenagers to have alcohol if its in their home. Can parents be charged for allowing their children a small glass of wine w/dinner?!? So if you had a backyard wedding, you could have champagne if you wanted. If there was a vendor's license obtained, I guess its technically illegal but you would never see anything done about it. Its almost a right of passage here to sneak your first drink at a wedding and I've never heard of the police being involved in any way.

Sometimes I wonder why American politicians say they are the "freest" country in the world when you have more policing agencies than any other country I've ever known to keep ppl in line.

I think charging a groom & bride on the wedding day is really a misuse of police time. Don't they have better things to be doing? Like protecting property and keeping ppl safe...wow!

Go.