tiredofbf's mother treating me like dirt
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tiredofbf's mother treating me like dirt
| Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:12pm |
This is going to be long... Anyways i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now we are not engaged or do we not have kids yet. We have our own house about 6 blocks away from his mothers house. I am so tired of his mother treating me like crap and him not standing up for me with her. SHe is so hatefull and rude it is just unreal. I have reached a breaking point with my bf that i will not attend anymore family get together or hoildays with his family until he can grow a back bone and stand up to them. You know i understand for probley the first year that we were together to be rude and hateful cause i am dating her baby but damn 4 years later does it ever stop.. It is causing some major problems with me and my boyfriend i am just ready to walk away and start over without him. His mother always will invite him up to there house to eat dinner but she tells him to ly to me and tell me he is going else where so he can come up there. Also she says some pretty hurtfull things to my face and the worst ones are to my boyfriend which he tells me. How do i get her to just be poliet around me. Do you think i am wrong for makin a stand about not going around them any more cause i dont want to go where i am no wanted and it is made anpoint that i am not welcome. PLease help me i dont know what to do anymore.

If your boyfriend is telling you this then I wonder if he is supporting you at all??
If he is like a clam, what kind of a discussion have you had with him?? Have you explained to him about the lying and it hurts you? Does he fully understand how you feel? Or does he just ignore what you say and blow you off. I'm just wondering what kind of a reaction he gives you.
If he fully understand how you feel and still doesn't fully support you - then I sure wouldn't want to be going there either. I so understand where you are coming from - I no longer want to visit my boyfriends parents either. Mine because they are controlling and want to make all the decisions though. They are nice enough I guess.
Other than that - have you actually told her how you feel? In front of boyfriend? When she is being nasty?
hugs. hopefully the wonderfull people on this board can help you fix this problem.
tabby, how old is this boyfriend of yours? I ask because, he is acting like a boy, and not like a man (IMO). Your first problem here is with your boyfriend. Not his mommy.
If he were a man in love, he would show you the respect of making you his wife. His legal partner; a complete member of his family; the woman that he cleaves to first, even before his own mom. If he loved and respected you, you would be always informed, always consulted.
If he gave you that respect, his mom could still try to be nasty, but maybe a lot of her reasons will have gone away. Her son does not respect you. He has not given you the status of partner. He sleeps with you. He doesn't talk to you. How do you know what he may be saying to his mom? So how should she treat you? What should her rules be? If she had a traditional upbringing, she may have been taught some pretty hurtful concepts about girls who live with boyfriends. The world may change, but some of the people in it may not quite keep up at that furious pace.
She has no respect for you, and because her son has never said anything to her about anything she's said or done, it has reinforced to her that she shouldn't have any respect for you. To her, you are just the girl who has been with her son 5 years, shacking up but not good enough to be given the roll of wife. Her son is the real problem here, not her. Her sons actions and inactions tell her that he doesn't respect you so why should she.
So, it's been this way from the beginning. How much longer will you continue to volunteer for the mistreatment from HIM as well as from her?