BF's Sister

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
BF's Sister
3
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 3:09pm

My bf and I have been dating for a few years. I find something his sister does rather strange, and I don't know what to make of it and whether I am being paranoid.

His sister is quite wealthy and has no problem spending 1000s of $ of herself or her family. But when it came to me, her presents were usually less than $20. I know it's the thought that matters, but I couldn't even figure out what to make of the her thoughts: Last year, for Christmas, she gave me a pair of PJs that were just plain ugly (bright fushia and neon green PJs with a bright pink shirt) that didn't fit me at all. The only reason I found out how much it cost is b/c I had to return it for store credit. I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I certainly couldn't afford to spend much on her (usually my bf and I gave her and her family presents from the both of us) since I am a graduate student. But does it strike anyone as odd that she spends so much on others' gifts but for me buys an ugly, less than $20 PJ set?

I can't figure out whether she likes me or not. I tend to be shy and find it difficult to open up - so that made it difficult for her from getting to know me too well. She also knew that my bf and I were having problems last year and I am not sure how it affected her thoughts about me. Last year, I called to thank his sister for the gift, and she ended up asking me what was going on. She then told me that she thought that her brother (my bf) was still immature and selfish and needed to grow up. I don't know if she really meant it or was saying it just to get me to break up with him; I never said anything close to it to entice her to say anything like that - infact, I disagreed with her when she said he was selfish. I've been thinking about this since it's close to Christmas again, but I just can't figure out what she's thinking.

Any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 8:46pm

Maybe since you're around again this year she'll upgrade the gift a bit. My previous experience: I spend about $75 on a gift for my BF's parents, and she gave me a pair of Christmas socks obviously from a bargain bin (the label was wrinkled and had several stickers removed) from a plus-size store. . I thought I'd go ahead and be the better person until a similar thing happened the next year (about re-gift with a value of less than $20) and it didn't appear to really affect my BF at all that she did this.

It just makes you feel really embarrassed to be there receiving that, doesn't it? As if it may as well be a bit hat that says "less than worthy of BF's sister's affection". And you have to gush and appear to be thankful when you really wanna be like "WTF is this!?" Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 8:47pm
and BTW...don't say ANYTHING to your BF that it bothers you. He can't do anything about it anyway...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 12:04am

Hi Rose122282, welcome to the board!

Maybe your BF's sister doesn't feel comfortable spending a lot of $$ on you for whatever reason. It could be because you aren't family that she doesn't feel comfortable spending lots of $$ on a gift for you. Whatever the reason, you can either get her the same kind of gift that she got you last year (a $20.00 gift), or you can be the "better person" and get her whatever gift you think that she would like (whether it is $20.00 or $50.00, etc.).

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