Holiday & Futr MIL n/ wanting include...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Holiday & Futr MIL n/ wanting include...
1
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 12:53am

My SO has had some rocky relationships/marriage in the past. Her mother is very self-centered, just like one of her sisters too - example of problem...

Before I give you the example, let me preface that my SO does not in anyway agree with her mom - rather she is disappointed in her mother's behavior.

Example: Her mother said that they, her parents, were going to be heading to Florida for from Jan 1 to March - until most of the Wisconsin winter has passed. She asked if my SO and her 3 kids wanted to come down and stay for a week or two. My SO said that if she did, she would bring me and my son along too. Her mother thought said that there was NO REASON why her BF and his son should come down - that ALL she wanted was her daugher and the kids -- just like OLD TIMES... after-all, when she was married her husband would not come along at all - he did not like leaving town if he did not have to.

Her mother started to make a fuss - but my SO said that it would not be right in ANY LIGHT to leave her BF and his son, us, here while they take off to Florida for a week or two... not to mention that she does not have vacation anyway - after starting a new job - because she never got to that point with her mom.

So - knowing all this - and my SO what wonderful enough to tell me - how do I "deal with this" during the holiday season. And to be honest too - I am not a person that enjoys the holiday season - long story -- lets leave it at that... One reason - I think too many people are too phony - like her mother who is a devoute religious person - going to church every Sunday - obviously not really "hearing" the word of God though.

I can obviously put on a wonderful happy face - as does my SO when her Mom gets in these "moods" of self-centeredness -- but I already DO NOT appreciate her perspective toward me and my son.

One more little tidbit - her mother thinks its gross to sleep together or kiss - married or not married (reason why her and her husband do not share a bed).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 11:28am

"And to be honest too - I am not a person that enjoys the holiday season - long story -- lets leave it at that... One reason - I think too many people are too phony - like her mother who is a devoute religious person - going to church every Sunday - obviously not really "hearing" the word of God though."

Ditto!

Frankly I think most in-laws are best viewed as people you have to get along with but don't have to have a close relationship with. Like work colleagues. Polite but not too friendly.

I don't see a need for you to put on a wonderful happy face. I don't see a need for you to take any action either as your SO seems to have done that by refusing to visit without you and her son. (Applaud her on that!) If fMIL says something to you directly, then be honest while remaining "professional". KWIM?

http://www.paganedge.com/