depressed and crying

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
depressed and crying
4
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 1:54pm

Hi everyone,

I really need advice.I recently delivered 5 months ago and so did my younger sister.my parents live in another country. my sis's hubby filled visa papers for my parents and now that my parents are getting ready to visit us ,he's started bad mouthing my parents and openly cursing them. he and his family is very rude to them and once he told my parents on phone that whenever my sis calls my parents they always fight and that if it were his parents ,they would never visit his sis's home until she was in trouble. my parents are very hesistent to come and i'm afraid that he's going to insult them again. also my husband is not supportive.he does not object to the idea of my parents coming and living with us for few weeks, but he has never expressed any exictement. we have been married for 7 yrs now and my parents have never visited me.my hubby always wants his parents to come and stay with us or spend all his vacations with them.finally yesterday i told my parents to cancedll the trip.i'm very sad and depressed and don't know what to do.please helppppppppppp.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 2:13pm
I feel so bad for you but you cannot let your dh and your sister's dh ruin this visit for you and your sister. You need to see your parents. This is a special time for you and your mom to re-connect. You have to stand up for yourself and your rights as a human being...it is a shame that you allow your dh to treat you this way. If you did not allow it, he would not be able to control you like this. Invite your parents back! You don't know what life is going to bring and you need to see your parents. You would regret it horribly and resent your dh forever if something happened to them and you cancelled this visit because your dh decided to act like a spoiled child. If he cannot treat your family the way you respect his than tell him he can move home to mommy while you enjoy your family's company.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 5:26pm

If your husband has no objections but just isn't "excited" about your parents, then you have NO reason to ask your parents to cancel.

Your husband is grownup enough to treat your parents with courtesy and respect, yes? Just doesn't get as happy about it as you do? Then thank your lucky stars your husband is a better man than your sister's is! (No, not out loud to anyone! Except maybe your husband, to thank him for being grown up enough to understand your need for your own parents, not just his)

Why deny your child's grandparents the pleasure of meeting your baby just because your bil is a rotten twerp? And once they are where you are, maybe you could invite your sister and her baby over to visit.

ilve2read

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 11:49pm

Hi Eajg06, welcome to the board!

So, your DH isn't "excited" about your parents coming so you told them to cancel their trip? Did you tell him that is why you asked him to cancel it? You haven't seen your parents in years and because your husband isn't "excited," you aren't going to get to see them for another year. So, if you continue to let your husband and your sister's husband control the situation, you will never see your parents. I'm all for putting your spouse first, but not seeing your parents for years because it may put a strain on your spouse is ridiculous, in my opinion.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 12:56am
hey sweetie,
you need to take what you want, and make your hubby understand that you need to have a relationship with you own family. You need to ask yourself what you need?