Sad for DH Re: His Mom Long
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| Tue, 12-05-2006 - 7:57pm |
Well since my DH kicked his visiting brother out of his car back in the beginning of November, my MIL has not spoken to my husband. DH's brother is a paranoid pot addict who was living in his car in NY, and my DH invited him to visit to get a shower and have a clean warm bed to sleep in for the weekend. He came, he spouted out these insane words and thoughts, he smoked weed in my backyard (unbenoust to me). My DH tried to take him to an AA meeting, and then on the way in the car, the fight broke out. My BIL told me the reason his mom doesn't like me is because she feel's like I took her son from her, as we lived an hour from her, now we live five hours from her near my family. She thinks I did it to take him from his family. Even when we lived an hour from her we always went to her to visit, she hardly came to us. It just made more sense to move near my family who could help me with our daughter. Anyways...
So I told DH what his brother said. He freaked out, and started this fight in the car. His brother threated to punch him while he was driving, so DH pulled over and kicked him out of the car in the middle of our town. It's not a huge city. And BIL is not a naive guy. I would have done the same thing. DH called MIL and confronted her as to if she said it, she denied it of course. She is most likely mad at DH cause he kicked him out of the car.
After the fight, BIL left a threatening message on DH's phone, "Im going to wreck your marriage by telling Liz about your lies. I am going to beat your f*** head in. I'm going to wreak everyone's life like my life is." You get the picture. I was scared he would come back and be irrational, since he is a pothead. But he didn't. So that was early Nov. DH didn't call his mom, she didn't call him. We never went for Thanksgiving.
Now comes Christmas. I told DH last night that if he wanted to see his family, he needed to speak with them. No one called him for Thanksgiving, no one has called him since the BIL thing. He is sad and upset. On the one hand, I am happy he can see what they are without me getting involved. On the other hand, I see it upsets him to be missing his family over the holidays and it makes me sad for him. I don't want him to be unhappy. I feel guilty for being happy (inside happy mind you, not outside happy) that we might not travel for Christmas. I don't want to go, I dont' care for his Mom. I wish it didn't have to hurt him. Oh well, I got what I wanted for now, I didn't have to travel then, might not have to travel now. But I didn't want DH to be so upset.
Thanks for listening
Liz


I understand that you don't want your DH to be upset. However, it sounds like your BIL and MIL are manipulative towards you and DH.
Maybe it is a good thing that DH has some time away from his mother. Maybe it will give him time to think about his family and the way that they treat the two of you.