So glad she's not mine!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
So glad she's not mine!
3
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 11:42pm
WOW! My good friend is over my house right now, as she actually left hers to get away from her DH and IL’s. How sad. Debby has a 4 y/o dd, a ds who will be 2 in January, and 2 remaining triplets, who were born the weekend before Thanksgiving , and are still in the hospital. (One baby died). That was following nearly 6 months in the hospital for Debby.
Her MIL was p/o’ed because Debby didn’t ‘do Thanksgiving’, according to MIL, there was no reason Debby couldn’t do Thanksgiving, as her MIL says, “life goes on” Her MIL did minimal to help out when Deb was in the hospital, I think that the neighbors and friends did a heck of a lot more for the family. I was informed by one of the neighbors that the MIL would call THEM and tell them to go pick up Britnay at school or what ever, or MIL would tell the children ‘go play at so and so’s house’.
I think Deb had the last straw today, and I can’t say I blame.
Her MIL lives local, so she was not staying with the family. But she did spend ample time with them. So when Debs got home, she was tired, but MIL did nothing to help her out (after all, according to her MIL, she‘s been in be for the past several months). After cooking every meal since she’s been home, and cleaning up afterwards with absolutely no help from MIL, or DH (who I understand is exhausted when he gets home ~ Deb has the ability to take a long nap in the PM. …Although bad side note here…I told her to turn off the phone. Don’t let it interupt your sleep, the babies will do that often enough. She did that. MIL called, no answer. MIL called the cops and they broke down her door. DH doesn’t blame his Mom, rather, it is Deb’s fault for turning off the phone.)
So tonight at dinner, I guess the discussion was about who was going to do what (pass something, get something I don’t know). It was not convenient to Deb, so she did not do it. Her D/H got all bent out of shape because she (Deb) was not treating his Mom with the respect she’s entitled to, and his Mom is guest and should be treated as such.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 12:02pm
That makes me literally ill to my stomach. Her dh needs to go home and live with mommy. Why dh's disrespect their wives and mothers of their children just to show respect and caring for anyone else makes me sick. Wish her well and tell her to collect all the mommy strength she has in her and lay down the law and boundaries in her home and with her children. She was in the hospital for awhile so she needs to "re-claim" her territory and tell MIL no more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 12:32pm

My own MIL chose the time of our son's birth to show her "true colors" and it has been a bad memory for the past 20 years. No matter how hard I try to forgive and forget, it happened at a time where it seems impossible for me to do that. My DH and I have now been married over 23 years, but the hurt and anger I felt toward him for not protecting me, as well as his mother for her selfish antics at that time, still surfaces every year. (Our son was 6 weeks old when I packed my car to leave my husband and he agreed to counseling to get me to stay -- that counseling is what saved our marriage.)

My heart goes out to your friend. She is fortunate to have such a good friend as you!

Kathy

Avatar for cl_mugalug
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 9:23pm
Wow. What a beeyoch! I think that she needs not only to tell her mil to back the heck off, but also tell her Dh that she doesn't deserve to be talked or treated that way by him, or anyone else. Remind him that she has been through a lot and that its not her job to cater to his mother, and that if she doesn't like it she can leave and not come back. Also if he doesn't like it tell him to not let the door hit him in the butt on the way out.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Baby Slings at Nurtured Family

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket