sister in-law clicks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
sister in-law clicks
7
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 10:01pm
I married a man with 3 sisters and 1 brother. For 13 years I was excluded from the sisters' pictures because I was the in-law. I accepted this and had no problem after the first year or so. My husband's brother got engaged. What a beautiful girl. We worked in the same field. I thought we would become friends. The first big holiday we were invited into the sister picture. Finally, I thought I made progress. We had girls around the same time. I thought we could do play dates. We even went on vacation together. She won't return calls and she is never available for anything with me. She does however do stuff with the "Sisters" all the time. They are all Catholic "extreme" and I am of different religon, they have acted clickish since the beginning. Now it's been 5 years since the new one came around and I feel even more excluded. The one sister even had a miscarriage and I heard about it through a stranger. I think I've been a very good sport and have done everything possible and that I'm supposed to. Their kids have even told my kids that they are going to hell because they/we are not Catholic. My kids are not bothered by this and are secure in our belief. I have tried everything possible, I have a great respect for other religons, and I can tolerate a lot, but it still hurts!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 2:10pm
I'm sorry to hear it. I guess there are times when people just don't mesh, or just don't want to mesh. It always feels bad to be the one left out. But there is usually a silver lining to that cloud. I am sure you can find it. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 4:47pm
thank you for your reply. I have been looking for that silver lining for 18 years now. sometimes they do seem a little crazy but nice. have a good day. I'm new to all this chat stuff, please excuse me. I have been reading the other discussions and see that it could be a lot worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2006
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 5:05pm

I think it's really sad that you are excluded by your sils. It ought to be enough that you are married to their brother, regardless if you are Catholic or not. It amazes me how some so-called Christians are some of the nastiest people around.

I bet the new SIL felt it more important to be part of their click than to be friends w.you. You should probably be happy that you are not a part of their click, b/c they do not sound like nice ladies. Try to find some friends that share the same interests as you and that will respect you for who you are. I also wouldn't put myself in the position to be hurt by them anymore, so if you are still reaching out to them, put your energy elsewhere.
Good luck (hugs to you)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 6:24pm
Hi thank you for your answer. I told my husband that I would give her one more call today and if she doesn't answer or call back, that I'll drop the effort in the future. today's call was the 4th in 3 weeks. no answer. no surprise. it is suprising that they do say things about/and talk about people in their congregation. the one sil even told my mil that my mil is going to hell because she didn't forgive someone for something major. like I said I have tried to go past certain things to make every effort. I do have other friends who understand me and are supportive. and I do have to say how my husband has supported me through all of the bitchyness they have to offer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 12:08am

Hi Truedharmamom, welcome!!

That is a shame that you are excluded by your SILs. If that is the way they want to be, let them. As for them saying your kids are going to hell because you aren't Catholic is out of line big time. For whatever reasons they may have, they aren't including you in any news that goes on with any of them or any gatherings they may have. I'm not sure what to make of it. In any event, I think the best thing to do would be to concentrate on people who care about you (friends and family) and who you care about and share common interests, etc., and forget about your SILs and talk to them only when you have to (holidays, etc.).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2006
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 7:15am
Thank you for your reply. This is the first chat thing I've done and it has helped me to know that I'm not ignorant or crazy. I have decided to let them go and deal with them on a "only because I have to occasions".
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 10:41pm
Wow. What a bunch of catty women. I hate to inform them, but it isn't up to them or anyone else who gets into Heaven. People like that aren't people I want to be around. I hope that your kids tell their kids something like that when they say they are going to hell. Some people are so fake.

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