mom2danjam...
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| Mon, 12-18-2006 - 8:03pm |
I just wanted to say your post from Nov21 re: christmas and helping out had me laughing. My family USED to be that way...until my brother got married. Then, big macho guy turned domestic - and he doesn't even mind doing the dishes! So often, he'll goat the other men into helping him - my husband usually offers to get it started - clean up EVERYTHING. The woman don't trust me to do any cooking - save a bit of chopping (I can't screw that up, right?) and the men do all the cleaning. I don't have any children yet so I usually set up games with the children to keep them occupied so the women can actually enjoy a nice cup of after dinner tea w/no interruptions. I'm so much younger, I guess no realized I turned into a 34 yr old woman and CAN actually help. My mother has wanted to pass the "make cabbage rolls" baton to me for years but everyone insists it has to be "Moms".
I also related to what you said about "this could be X's last xmas". My sister missed 8 xmas holidays in a row before we ganged up on her. She relented...and came home for xmas on BOXING day - by HERSELF (no husband, no kids). This year, we moved xmas to Dec27 and rented out a house on ski hill...you can be sure her whole family will be there ;-)
As to my husband, I told him when I met him that I don't care about thanksgiving - but xmas I spend w/my family. His brother does the same thing so it wasn't a problem. He and his parents used to go out for dinner somewhere - that was the extent of "xmas". So when his mother tried to make a stink about it, he told her "we never did anything anyway - don't be silly!" Then he organized a dinner w/his brother for the week before xmas. This will be the second year he has organized it.
Why not suggest to DH beforehand that he offer to help? He can tell them you need to watch the kids?
Happy holidays,
Dee

Thanks for your post.
DH won't tell his family a darn thing. Chicken heart. I just flat out refuse. I feel that the grown grandchildren and others can do what I have done for years. Even my own young kids clean up their plates, etc.