New here and cant take it nemore!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
New here and cant take it nemore!!
6
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 1:22pm
Hello everyone,
I lurk here often and read the posts, I feel for all of you, and I don't feel so alone in my situation!
Here is my story, sorry if its a little mixed up but I have so much to say and its really hard to type all your feelings..I am 23 years old and I have a beautiful 16 month old daughter, I have been married to my husband for 3 years. Our daughter is the in-laws first grandchild. They are constantly telling me how to raise her, everything I do isn't right, they feed her junk food all the time, they do not care if my husband and I tell them not to do something, they basically act as if she is their child. If I do not let them do something they call everyone in their family and tell them that I am a bad mom and I wont let them see her or do anything with her. My husbands family now hates me because of MIL. During my pregnancy she called me fat and belittled me every chance she got, I almost lost the baby because of her. my husband is the middle child of 4 kids, all her other kids think she is a saint and can do no wrong and me and my husband are the bad guys! They don't take into consideration the MIL steals, has committed credit card fraud, idenity theft and is now having an affair with a married man.
She has made it her mission in life to make my life hell (not my words, those are her words) she has even gone so far as to tell her own son (my husband that she wants nothing to do with him). I guess that would be a good thing but I work with her (she is my boss)
I just don't think I can take it anymore. I know it doesn't sound that bad I haven't even really begun to tell all the things she has done to me over the years. I now have health problems do to all the stress she has caused in my life and I am at my wits end.. Does anyone know of a way I can set boundries with her or to just deal with the devil I call my MIL?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 1:38pm
Find a new job. Cut off all relations with any in-laws or any people that say bad things about you and do nasty things to you. Never let someone drive you to emotional chaos. For your daughter, get these people away from your family now. If she said that her mission in life is to make your life miserable, you are not losing anything but unnecessary stress on you , your dh, and your daughter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 1:45pm

I agree with the last poster. You really need to do this for your family's health and sanity as well as your own. No one has the right to treat you the way your mother-in-law has, even if they are "family." I would quit working for her and move away if you have to. Don't allow your daughter to grow up viewing these sorts of behaviors because she will learn it's okay to treat people like that. You deserve a happy family and to be around people who truly love and appreciate you, not people who step on you to make themselves feel happier. I would just get away as far as I could.

Ashley

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 2:01pm
Thank you for your replies.
It is really comforting to know that there are people out there who care.
I have thought about getting another job for a while now, but I have recently found out that I am pregnant with my second child. I am not sure if I can start another job being pregnant. I am really scare to think of what is going to happen during this pregnancy.
I think it is really awful that we all have to deal with people like this. I just don't understand how people can be so mean.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 2:58pm
She is your boss? Is she the owner of the company you work for, or just higher up? How does she treat you at work? I really feel for you and your situation. I just have to deal with a ice cold MIL. To which after reading these posts I feel like I am getting off easy.
It is nice to have these boards to vent on.
take care
Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 4:05pm

Be looking for a new job!!! Get as far away from her as you can. Let them all be angry at you. Keep your baby safe as you know you need to. And, tell hubby to stand up for you, it's his family after all. And, he needs to stand up for HIS baby.

Good luck
Sallie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 4:52pm
Haven't had a chence to read everyone else's suggestions on this, so please excuseme if I repeat some of them.
Get a new job! This woman is a big enough part of your life without being your boss, too. I don't know your situation, so it maybe more difficult for you, but it sounds like it would take a lot of stress off of you.
Tell your husband he needs to stand up to her with you. Maybe he already does this, but your post doesn't mention a lot of that happening. If you need to, and it sounds like this would be a good idea, do not let your MIL see your child without either you or your husband present. No, she won't like it, but at least you will be there to enforce the rules you have laid down.
Best of luck!