The woman has nerve...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
The woman has nerve...
2
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:15pm

My BF's mom is crazy. Having said that, so is her daughter (BF's sister). DS has a child whose father is unknown, and she allows her crazy mother (BF's mom) to rear him for her so she can go out and party. My BF mentioned to them that we would like to adopt the child after we're married to which both MIL and DS went...and I quote..."ballistic". I have never met MIL because she hates me and my BF doesn't want a scene. My opinion on why she isn't crazy about the little boy having two loving parental figures and a stable home life 2 states away from the drama, is that my BF has a soft spot in his heart that she plays on whenever she can, so there goes her leverage.

Every holiday crazy MIL pulls something. She is on a bank account with my BF from when he was overseas. BAD IDEA. The day before Thanksgiving, he looks at his bank statement and notices that $700 is gone. He calls her and she starts crying saying "We didn't have any money...we didn't have any milk for Joshua (the little boy)". BULL. She lives in a $500K house, her drunk husband drives a hummer. They are WAY better off than we are. They could probably find at least $100 in the couch cushions. If you're seriously broke, you ASK to borrow fifty bucks until payday. I think she stole it to go Christmas shopping. She has no plans of paying it back BTW, and he has no plans of asking her. F----ng enabler.

Well the t.v. that the little boy plays his videogames on is now broken(he's 6 and can't read b/c no one spends time with him. But don't worry, he's really good at Super Mario Bros.). So my BF says that's what we'll get him for Christmas. Crazy MIL calls today and says to him "I found the perfect place to put it! And they have them on sale for $1,500!" WTF!!! I think she tried to manipulate him into buying a plasma t.v. like we have! He says now that he's going to buy him a 36" (it was a 25" to begin with, so she got a little more out of him). That t.v. was for HER. I'd be surprised if the original one was even broken.

My BF only sees through her manipulation half of the time. Can I really stand a lifetime of this? Can you not be with someone because you don't like their mother??? It's so hard for me not to say anything--I never do--but I'm PMSing right now and I said "Doesn't she know that our couch has a hole in it and we don't have living room curtains!!!" and walked away. Geez!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:38pm


Can you not be with someone because you don't like their mother???

If the someone enables the behavior of the mother you don't like, then my answer is that YOU are crazy if you DO stay with him.

If he is willing to set and *maintain* boundaries, stand beside the woman he chose to be with resisting the craziness, then maybe consider staying with him.

CAN you stand a lifetime of this? Would the good times with him be enough to offset the bad? For long term? Or would her craziness and his enabling be too much?

Only you can answer that.

Good luck!

ilve2read

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 9:23pm

I wouldn't stay with him if he kept giving in all the time and had no boundaries...but thats just me.


If you do stay with him, and he does enable his mother by allowing her to take advantage of him, my advice to you would be to keep your money seperate from his. This way he can enable her without taking your hard earned cash too.


But thats just a bandage on a wound right now. You can't make him stand up to his mom. Keep that in mind, that's all I am saying.


Liz

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