Out/In Laws
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Out/In Laws
| Wed, 12-27-2006 - 12:45pm |
Family Christmas time was last Wednesday, December 20, 2006. My husband's sisters and parents were present, as were my sisters and parents. My husband was previously married with 2 grown children from that marriage (ages 17 and 23 (17 yr. old lives with us)). Husband also has another child under the age of 5 by a woman that one of his sister's set him up with after his divorce from 1st wife. We pay child support and see the child, although he refused to marry child's mother. Husband's sisters friend was already 4 months pregnant when he and I saw one another again. We were "sweethearts" in high school 25 years previous. We were both "smitten" again and married 2 months later. There have been difficulties with husband's sisters and mother feeling like my husband should have married the woman he conceived this last child with, or at the very least, lived with her and raised the child. My husband strongly opposed marrying this woman and went to his mother and sister and explained how he had been manipulated by her. Bottom line, he was willing to pay child support and we have done so from the month the woman became pregnant. We spend time (as much as the woman will let us) with the child, but we aren't allowed to keep the child for the weekend or take the child on vacation with us. When this woman's story confirms that she did try to manipulate my husband into marrying her through pregnancy, then I figure that what he has told me about her is true. She is manipulative and deceitful. I am not sure where the problem actually starts-I don't recall doing anything to upset husband's sisters or mother, they all attended Christmas at our house on the 20th, although they only brought gifts for husband and I. They brought nothing for my step-son, their nephew/grandson and nothing for the baby their neice/granddaughter. I thought that was a little odd until my stepson told me that his mother (huband's first wife) turned down an invitation from my husband's sister to attend "Christmas" at her house last Friday night. Apparently, while my husband and I had chosen and thought we were hosting the family Christmas celebration for 2006, my sister-in-law was hosting her own Christmas which was to include my husband's first x-wife, my SIL friend (a.k.a. mother of husband's child whom he refused to marry) my husband's parents, husband's two children from first marriage, and his other sister and her boyfriend. SIL even became angry when my stepson said that he didn't think he could make it to her party. There is nothing wrong with her maintaining a friendship with her friend, or even her maintaining a friendship with my husband's first wife if she chooses too, what I don't understand is how she can (with a clear conscience) systematically dismiss the fact that her brother isn't married to the first wife any longer, and chose not to marry her friend who became pregnant. She doesn't have to get to know me, she never has to like me, but does she have no propriety? No honor? Where is the loyalty to her family (particularly her brother)? This is penalty for my husband not doing what sisters and mother-in-law wanted him to do? Penalty for him meeting me and falling in love again? I don't understand the reasoning. How can they be so mean spirited? He has talked to his sister several (more than 5) times and asked her to stay out of his business with the woman who is mother of child. His parents go up and mow her lawn in the summer time and give her money. It is almost like they feel this woman is going to "cut them off" from seeing their grandchild grow up. I don't understand why his parents won't take a step back and let us solve whatever issues may arise with mother of child, why are they trying to assure her she is part of the family when she wouldn't even be invited to anything family oriented if she had not had the most recent grandchild? Very confused and disagree with treatment by in-laws. How would SIL have felt if she would have stepped through our door last Wednesday evening and there would have stood her X-husband front and center?

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