Seriously, I just don't get them...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2006
Seriously, I just don't get them...
3
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 2:23pm

Okay, so every year dh and his sibs all pitch in the get their x'mas gifts. Each year each couple would pitch in about 300 to 600 dollars (which is about half our budget). So, this year b/c I volunteered to do the shopping, I can control what we buy for them. The amount totalled 250 each. So I sent an email to all the sibs telling them the amt, one of his sibs protested saying that he should not have to contribute equally since he was single and we all have partners, so he only wanted to pay 200 bucks. All the sibs agree including dh (I did not agree b/c we only have one income to support five people whereas his one income is more than ours and he lives with his parents who pay all his bills. Fine, so I know I am going to lose this battle, so I agreed. So, we just saw him yesterday and guess what? Now, he decided that he doesn't want to pay b/c he did not agree to pitching in!!!WTF, he did agreed to it b/c dh called him and I was there. He doesn't seem to remember this convo.


I dont' understand why they always include him in knowing his track record. He owed one of my sils over two hundred dollars b/c he pitched in to get my kids xmas presents one year that was three years ago and he still had not paid her back yet. dh said that they don't want to leave anyone out.


So, fine (not really). We are paying $500 for the in-laws presents. Okay, here's another kicker. Guess what the kiddies got for Christmas from the in-laws? A fricker pair of pants and shirt from a discount store? So, 500 bucks got us three pairs of pants and shirts. My kids have always been the only grand children, but ealier this year, one other grandchild was born and guess what she got. Two boxes full of clothes from places like gap kids, gymboree and children's place. MIL's excuse is that she has to make up for the last five years where she bought presents for my kid(s). Does that make sense to you? Oh, I should also mention that the in-laws are well-off too. They own a couple of businesses. When that baby was born, they furnished the entire nursery with top of the line furniture. They spent almost 10 grand on all the furniture, and stroller, etc.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 4:15pm
Wow. You're a far.....nicer woman than I. Supporting four people on one income (let alone the five you are), I would not be going in $250-300 for gifts for just my in-laws alone! That's my budget for eight people. The in-laws, both DH's and mine get a gift certificate to a resteraunt they love for $50. Personally, if they're so ungreatful and self-centered to not "get" that we're not swimming in money and a dinner for the two of them isn't good enough frankly next year they'll get just a card! I'm sorry you married into that sort of family. Like I said, you're far nicer than I would have been about the whole thing, from the first Christmas that they expected us to hand over that kind of money.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 5:51pm

I'm not sure just what Christmas is about with people like that, but it certainly is not about sharing, caring and giving.

I think you and DH should be "left out" next year. Come up with a blanket response now, and use it liberally when they come whining around looking for money to do whatever it is they are trying to do.

What on earth do you people buy for his parents with that kind of money? Do they seem to genuinely appreciate what ever it is? Or are these children trying to buy love and acceptance from emotionally bankrupt parents?

Come on girl. What's right for *your* family? You know, you, DH, kids; not the extended family, what is right for *your* family?

{{{hugs}}} It sucks when the holidays bring stress and strife instead of warmth and cheer.

ilve2read

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 10:56pm
Sounds like my hubbys family. This happened to us too. My one SIL would never pay all her share in group gifts. So one year we asked my husbands brother and his wife to go in with us on a gift. When my in laws opened it on Christmas my SIL said, "No one asked meif I wanted to go in on it!" And I said, "That's because you still haven't paid for the last 2 gifts you agreed to go in on". She didn't speak to me for awhile after that, but I haven't had a problem with Christmas gifts since then.