I simply can't believe this!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
I simply can't believe this!!
4
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 9:30pm

^_^ Hello again ladies!! How are you all doing? I hope you are all doing well.

OMG, the monster-in-law is actually acting a bigger fool, if that's at all possible, than she was before. She's even got the fil to act up with her. My hubby will be over to their house tommorrow to deal with this, and they will not like what he's going to say from the impression he gave me. Oh well, they have it coming anyway. Get this: the monster-in-law and fil are upset because I refuse to have a relationship with her. If you repeatedly get bitten by a snake, then common sense will tell you to stay away from it and be wary of it. I've been suckered by her 'nice act' only for it to turn back to evil time and time again. There's no way I'm going to be stupid enough to knowingly walk back into drama and be put through more hell from a woman who isn't even the least bit sorry for what's she done. Now the fil is trying to be upset and wants to 'talk' with my husband, well he's in for a rude awakening for that conversation. I'm allowing her to visit with the child at our home, so what more does she want? It seems that she's still up to stirring up trouble to get what she wants again. It takes two for a relationship to get started and for it to work. You can't force a relationship if only one person (her) wants it. I simply don't trust her and definitely don't want a relationship with her. I'll be nice, respectful as always, but that's all she getting from me. She's had plenty of chances to stop causing trouble, and didn't stop it, thus destroying any chances of a possible relationship between us. She just won't accept the way I feel and leave well enough alone. One day, understanding will come to her..I hope :P

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 1:17am
I hope that the 'talk' your Dh had with his parents went well. Personally you shouldn't even allow them to see your child at all. If they can't respect you then they don't deserve to see their grandchild. You are the Mother and the gatekeeper to the grandkids. They have to go through you. Yes its nice to have the Grandparents in the child's life, but its no necessary. We cut off my mil and things are a lot better not only between Dh and I, but the kids aren't exposed to her toxic behavior, her mouth, and the problems she caused Dh and I.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 3:20am
The talk that my hubby had with his parents went better than even he expected. For all the hype of a 'talk' that his father said that he wanted to have with him, they didn't seem to act up as we expected. Actually, they finally seemed to get the clue that I want nothing to do with his mother now or ever in a relationship that she's already destroyed. Oh, I will be there to supervise every single visit she has with the child, which will only be once a week when my hubby and I are both there. My child is not allowed to spend the night or go anywhere with her. All visits will only be to our home, so she has no leverage to either do something stupid like badmouth me or be disrespectful without getting her butt kicked out of my house and she knows it too. Also, my dad and the child's godmother will also be visiting on the same day, so it will be a group event. She knows she'd better behave or else that's the end of that. That along with all other guidelines that I've set will be followed by her since she agreed to do so, and really she has no leverage and no choice. Fil wanted to see if it would get better one day and he was already told 'no'. Right now they are resigned and don't have much to say at this point. The fact that she is now in the process of dealing with the consequences gives me great satisfaction, of course I'm no fool either because I will be paying close attention to what she's up to. She knows if she makes one wrong move, that it's over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 4:59pm

Hi Frederique2006, welcome to the board!

How did the conversation between your husband and his parents go? They need to understand their behavior and how it affects you and that is the way it is going to be (they way you are reacting to what they have done/said). They really don't have much of a choice but to "get it," if you keep acting the same way towards them they will HAVE TO get it, in my opinion.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:14pm
Guess what?! Monster-in-law just sent me an email trying to yell and be upset over this. Even went so far as to have something nasty to say. Now, I've told her that she will not even see my child acting a fool like that. There is no way she getting near my child now. And to think, I was actually being nice to allow her to visit with the child, well she doesn't even have that. Ah well, she should've left well enough alone and kept her mouth shut.